A Meditation Break Through Story with ironic twist

Meditation was always one of those things I thought of as beyond my grasp-- just no way I would be able to sit still and chill for any legnth of time, and what do you mean, just be? It stumped me.
My first efforts seemed pointless, so I thought about the whole "attachment to outcome" trap, and just carried on, figuring at least it may count as good karma for the time invested. Then.... it started to happen. Oh! I see! The benefits began to emerge from theory to experience. What started out as tortuous 5 min sessions became 20, 30, and 45 minute sessions I looked forward to. Then, Edd died. My brother. Ouch. I didn't want to meditate. It was just too real. Too dangerous. Too scary. So I didn't. For a couple of years.
So, there I was, cutting myself off from myself in a big way, brooding about all sorts of crap-- like a particularly painful betrayal from a dearly beloved friend-- when it suddenly occured to me I needed to meditate. So I plop down, expecting nothing, when kablooey! I felt an amazing connection to everything--like the hot dog in the joke "one with everything". It was an amazingly groovy feeling-- like nothing I'd experienced before. Suddenly, my attention was drawn to my right forearm. I opened my eyes and saw a small insect on my skin-- looked like a flea with wings. I brushed it off, and made to continue my session. However, my attention was drawn to the spot I'd brushed the wee beastie to. I saw a large number of these exotic insects in a formation on my livingroom carpet, as they'd aparantly just emerged from the soil of one of my houseplants. All I could think of was the health and safety of my family-- unknown insects in large number-- I went right for the insecticide. Wrathful deity unto bugs. Felt quite uncomfortable about it-- downright wrong, considering the amazing experience of the connectedness of all life. So, standing there, wondering how it is I could have that experience and then do this, I had the epiphany. Ding! Sometimes people do things they believe to be wrong because they are afraid not to. For whatever reason. A neat answer to my agonizing over a friend's betrayal. Bloody weird.