Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year





Happy New Year, one and all! Anybody make any resolutions? I resolve to be even more fiercely myself this year, and still maintain respect for others. I have the goal of building my massage practice to a level that requires a larger office. Schmooze more. Play more. Play my guitar LOTS more, and renew my love affair with my bicycle. Take more pictures, build more wee houses, and improve my language skills. Hope you have a vibrant and amazing 2006!

Saturday, December 24, 2005


Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all together with a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or otherwise or sexual orientation of the wisher or wishee, any third party beneficiary intended or otherwise, and their respective issue, heirs, assigns and successors in interest. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself (or other sexual denomination) or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of not more than one year, on the calendar of the wisher’s choice, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and the warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

(Happy Holidays from our legal department, via the wicked Patty B.)

Friday, December 23, 2005

Doll House Finished (mostly)


Da da da da da da da daaaaaaaaa!! It's done! and just in time for gift giving joy-- made from the box another gift came in!
We got Ma a new minifridge this year. She really likes it. This, however, represents a lifelong dream. Ever since I can remember, Ma wanted a doll's House. Well, now she has it. She is really pleased, and is planning to sew for it. Folks, she's not sewn in years. Like I said before, it's great to see her excited and happy about something. I have a few cosmetic touches to apply, but for the best part, it's done. The door wreath is rosemary from Sandy's garden(thanks, San!), the upright player piano is a music box, and the tree was my brother Edd's. He bought the hearth and accesories when I was building a house from a kit--the wood warped, so it was never completed.
Ma chose the wallpaper and art work--over the mantle is an antique map of the world, and beside it hangs a knight. The roof shingles are from a slab of paper I bought when I was first taking up origami, as is the wall paper. The bricks and flooring are patterns from printshop, and the mouldings and stones etc are foamcore. I'm already thinking about my next one (having learned from my mistakes on this one).



Tuesday, December 20, 2005

It May Be Time To Dig A New Lair


Just two days after guest posting on OPE(http://otherpeopleexist.blogspot.com/2005/12/december-17-2005.html), this arrived at my lair, delivered by a minion wearing a uniform. Not a good sign. Imagine my horror upon opening it--the clear threat implied by the direct eye contact of the poor genetically modified organism, as if to say "I see you."
Clearly my enemies (the pet owners alluded to by Kurt) have bred a race of cyborg dogs, fitted with antanae and blinking lights. Nice of them to send a warning--you can always count on your fellow mad scientist types to gloat--before, during, and after. It seems my only hope is to make it to a BETA safe house before the army of cyberpups are dispatched. This could get messy before it's all over.

Monday, December 19, 2005

I Have No Excuse, Really.

Ok, I’m being a lazy sod again today.  Here’s some funny one liners from  http://funny2.com/jokes.htm
And remember, providing the link makes it not plagiarism
.
There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know.
If #2 pencils are the most popular, are they still #2?
There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot".
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants
A fool and his money can throw one hell of a party.
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market reproductive organs.
Failure is not an option. It's bundled with your software.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking
Man cannot live by bread alone, unless he's locked in a cage and that's all you feed him
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. Stalking is
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh.
I'd like to have more self-esteem, but I don't deserve it.
Corduroy pillows - they're making headlines!
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake
Did you hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Shameless Self Promotion,or "Blogging around Like a Total Slut"

Go read Kurt's Blog. Over there--to your left. Click on the "Other People Exist" link, and then you'll see evidence that 1. I'm a total whore; and 2. I'm excused from writing a real update today. I have a note from my doctor.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Amber and Justin Show the Love




Here's some shots of the carved wooden linking monkeys Amber gave me, and the kite I got from Justin. My first flying monkey!! I always wanted those to send on "little errands"..........

Keeping Busy on a Cold Night



This is the box me Ma's xmas gift came in. It was just a proper cardboard box, but I got creative and restructured it with a pocket knife and some tape. Then, I printed some bricks and shingles, and found a really cool door, and stuck it on rather quickly with spray adhesive and glue stick. It's a kind of sketch for a similar house, to be done with more care, and papier mache'.

Next step will be to add windows, and start in on the interior. When I do it properly, I'll actually start with the inside, but as I'm running on pure inspiration and flying ala seat of the pants........

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Holiday greetings

"Happy Winter Holiday, as you worship him/her/them/it/or not, as you see fit, in accordance with the tradition of your own personal choice.
( If this greeting still offends you, fuck off.")

My official holiday card, reproduced here.

Congrats to Kurt

The media has noticed the valient effort of superblogger Kurt in his crusade to end the humiliating practice of dressing pets up in costumes. Follow the link to witness his glory!
http://www.thebayareaistalking.com/archives/2005/12/tis_the_season.html
Pet humiliation--it's not just for goyim anymore!

IRBHN Office Xmas Party--Deck the Blog


After a bitter, tearful exchange with the legal department, here are some photos from last nights manditory "morale boosting" office xmas party.
Up top, our editor-in-chief, E. T. Bear
and his personal asistant, Mr. Zappy, weilding the "employee morale booster", or "death ray". Fortunately it doesn't work very well, as we have to take the lowest of 3 bids every time we purchase something.
Next, in order of importance, is our attorney, Count Damoney. He came all the way from Portugal, along with much of the staff.

Here's a shot of the office, all decorated, party in full swing. Have you ever seen anything as sad?

Bobo, head of catering, offering snacks to head of maintence, office courier, and head writer, counter clockwise from right.
Finally, G.T. Bear (E.T.'s twin), hiding out in a safe spot.

Monday, December 12, 2005

More Tales From the 60's-My First Xmas

My first holiday is as fresh in my memory as if it were just yesterday. The ECT hasn't done a damn thing.....
Ok, I was 11 months old, and had been learning to speak english from the television for the past month. The month before that, I had been speaking Czech, but only to the housekeeper. She was the only adult that didn't "baby talk" to me, so I figured she was the only one that wasn't crippled by imbecility and was my link to learning.
Once my babbling had been identified as a foreign language, the TV was designated as my "learning to talk buddy". My brothers noticed that whenever a robot appeared on screen--Robby the Robot in particular--I went balistic with delight. Being good brothers, they decided to get me my own toy robot for christmas. They saved their allowances and got the most expensive toy robot they could find. One with A HUMAN HEAD!!!!
So along comes christmas eve. It was my first, so while it struck me as strange and new, it got factored in with EVERYTHING being strange and new. I chilled behind the tree chewing my favorite doorstop (rubber,wedge shaped) whilst the family opened gifts.
Without warning, I was whisked out from behind the tree, and given a brightly wrapped box, complete with ribons and bows. It was so pretty--the first I'd ever seen up close. I was happy with the pretty box, but no, the family expected me to open it. Inside I found a box with a picture of a spaceman on it. How thoughtful! I was encouraged to open the box, where, to my horror, I found a tin robot body with a plastic bubble up top containing a HUMAN HEAD!!!
Have you ever heard a small child squeal with terror? Ear splitting.
The rest of the night was filled with my brothers trying their best to get me to play with the horrible terrifying head stealing robot assassin-- I was just sure they'd taken out life insurance on me, and were looking to cash in. I stayed safely behind Ma, armed with my trusty doorstop.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Holiday Cheer

Mariana came to my aid battling the holiday blues--nothing cheers you up like a box full of chocolate and toys from a friend overseas. Im having a wee modicum of self control--I'm opening everything slowly, to make it all last longer. More to come, with informative photos and informational text--soon!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Have a Slackeriffic Thanksgiving

THANKSGIVING HAIKUS

"You've never loved me!"
"Why the hell did I come home?"
"Please pass the gravy."

See my family:
They're all such friggin' morons.
Turkey softens pain.

Christmas music plays,
Yet I haven't finished my
Halloween candy.

Of all the things
I'm thankful for, the least must be
Turkey leftovers.


White man invades us,
Steals our land and livelihood!
Enjoy pie, asswipes.

The zen of Popeye
Echoes as I fill my plate:
I am what I yam.

Stomach exploding,
I can't eat another bite.
What? Pie? Bring it on!

Pie sirens singing,
Beckoning from the table,
Taunting me loudly.

So full I could burst.
Keep that mint away, despite
Its wafer thinness.

Pumpkin pies untopped,
Whipped cream dribbles from the can.
Who took nitrous hits?

Sometimes we're thankful
For the things we do *not* have.
Like, you know, Trump's hair.

Carve the turkey... yum!
White meat, dark meat, red meat-- huh?
Crap, I've sliced my thumb.

Forty-four years old,
Still at the kiddie table.
Pass the damn peas, punk.

This posting is as pre-fab as the dinner I'm serving tomorrow. All I have to do is bring it all to serving temperature, so i can't give you the whole "making everything from scratch" excuse--I'm just being a lazy sod!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Many Faces of Amber


Here are some of the many phases uber-babe Amber has gone through. She is such a girly-girl when it comes to the clothes and grooming. Beyond that, she's low maintenence and self sufficient. She totally rocks.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Goodies from The Onion


Ok--I'm all cranky this week. Holidays suck in my family. Ma always gets a bit withdrawn and sad on ThanksGiving--her favorite brother--my uncle Dwaine I never met--saved his friends from a grenade on Thanksgiving Day 1950 in Korea. The holidays go downhill from there. Since my brother Edd died, and my surviving brother can't seem to tear himself away from whatever it is well off retired people without spouses or children do, Ma has developed a "screw it" attitude toward the H-days. So I get a bit ratty, envying my friends that have the whole family thing going on--pathetic, when you find yourself wishing for a good old family row.
So I get cranky rather than depressed--anger is more empowering and all that shit.....I'll soldier on, and do the cooking/shopping thing anyway. I'm determined to beat this. I keep waiting for three ghosts to turn up--I have big ghost bashing sticks already, that's right, it's gonna be "ghost of christmas bashed" this year!
so here's some goodies from The Onion to make up for me whenging.

Your Horoscope
November 16, 2005 Issue 41•46
Aries March 21 - April 19
People think you're delusional when you say you're in love with a girl on a billboard next to Highway 41, until they realize you fastened a nursing student up there with carriage bolts.
Taurus April 20 - May 20
Your long-held belief that the pen is mightier than the sword will be put to the test this week when you sign up for a combination fencing/calligraphy class co-taught by an angry Spaniard and a weary sensei.
Gemini May 21 - June 21
This is the nesting season of the Turner's Dauber, a nine-inch-long species of parasitic wasp that injects its starving, carnivorous larvae deep into a species of wren that looks just like your new hairstyle.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
Your resistance to technology comes to a sudden end this week when you're garroted with a length of fiber-optic cable.
Leo July 23 - August 22
There's no denying that your unique scarecrow design scares the hell out the crows, but it has the disadvantage of filling your yard with infuriated Christians.
Virgo August 23 - September 22
Some say that your shortsightedness will be the death of you, but it's your glaucoma that leads you to drive up an off-ramp and into a gasoline truck.
Libra September 23 - October 23
You're no music expert, but the shadow growing in size around your feet looks like that of a concert grand piano.
Scorpio October 24 - November 21
Your death will be so protracted and violent that investigators will let your mother down easy by telling her you were sodomized in half by a horse.
Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
You'll finally put an end to your illiteracy this week when what you believe to be a bowl of alphabet soup turns out to be a can of minestrone with a POISON label on it.
Capricorn December 22 - January 19(that's ME!)
Once again, a poorly timed wisecrack at the office will lead to you lying prone in a ditch with ice water up to your chin and your hands going numb on the grip of the .45.
Aquarius January 20 - February 18
It'll finally hit you this week that the Gerber baby is most likely dead by now, a realization brought on not so much by the photo on the front of the jar but the mush inside.
Pisces February 19 - March 20
The good people over at Fisher-Price say it's impossible to be dismembered by one of their toys, but you'll soon show those smug bastards what's what.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Fun Site




I found a new (to me) site via the weebl site--Adam Phillips' Bitey's Castle. clicky aqui http://www.biteycastle.com/ and check it out. I love the style--it really appeals to me on many levels. The colors and contures of the drawings seem to resonate with my inner child (a real little shit) and the character Bitey is so endearing (to me, anyway). The style and spirit of the 'toons is cute without being cutesy--there is a distinct "not niceness' to the work, but not mean spirited. Be sure to catch the Brackenwood series. The site is fun to explore, and after you've done with the toons, there are stories to read!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Monday, November 07, 2005

In Memory of Fafhrd


My friend Sandy suffered a loss Saturday night. Her eldest Pom--the charming Fafhrd--went into cardiac arrest . As you may well imagine, we're all quite upset. He was 12 & 1/2 years old. She got him around the same time that Conor(Sean's oldest son) was born. He was a funny little guy--thought he was a big dog, had a severe case of Napoleonic complex, twirled and yapped like a mad thing whenever someone left the house, and did the most revolting hilarious things to a toy rabbit you ever saw. He will be sorely missed.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

See More at Steal This Blog


Here's a still from Peacocks in the Trees (not really)--but see more at STB

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Letter from Home

Goodness--it has been a while, now hasn't it? I've been so busy here, what with all the massaging and all--amazing how, after a day of soft tissue manipulation, one doesn't want to type terribly much. Something to do with tired hands and forearms--that, and the whole massage therapist super stregnth--keyboards shattering beneath the fingers, and all.....
The weather here is still quite balmy--I ran the AC last night, just to be comfortable enough to sleep. Speaking of sleep--who'd a thought it? I sleep much better now as an RMT-- none of the vexing insomnia that plagued me as a psychiatric aide. Huh.
Amber and I are scheduled to go for a stomp around the grounds of Laguna Gloria-- a local art museum with lovely nature trails, studded with great whopping huge sculptures and the like. It's like the fairy tale woods, if the fairies had grants to produce art. I'll be taking the camera along with, so hopefully there will be new photos on STB tonight--batteries willing.
Speaking of my baby twin sis, I scanned a slew of old photos of her--just amazing how chameleonic she is. That will be yet another post on STB.
And speaking of photos and posting--I have more of the lovely and talented Dawn-- stay tuned!
Love to all!

Friday, November 04, 2005

10 Massage Therapy Jokes (One Good One)

1. Massage Therapist: Your appointment is for 9 A.M. If I'm not on time, start without me.

2. Massage Therapist: Let me know if that's too much pressure. I don't want to torture you. That would be an added charge.

3. Massage Therapist (monologuing): I'm going to be doing frictions which can be a little unpleasant. It's at this point patients sometimes say (in a Sean Connery accent) "Do you expect me to talk?" And I say (wigged out Goldfinger voice): "I expect you to die, Mr. Bond!"

4. Client: What's in the massage oil?
Massage Therapist: Patchouli and some Rosemary. It smells nice. I tried using holy water once but it burns! It BURNS!

5. Massage Therapist: Is the pressure okay?
Client: How will I know if it's not "okay"?
Massage Therapist: If you see dead relatives beckoning you toward a bright light, that would be one clue.

6. Client: So...where did you get your training?
Massage Therapist: Prison.
Client (hushed gasp): Oh.

7. Client: By that pressure, I'd say you don't like me very much.
Massage Therapist: (Easing up.) No, no! Thank you for telling me the pressure was too much for you. If I really didn't like you, I'd use the lawn mower maneuver.
Client: (Curious) Ah, and what's that?
Massage Therapist: I wrap a long towel around your head several times, place one foot on your back, take one end of the towel and, er...start you up!
Client descends into silence for the rest of the hour, tips generously and scurries out.

8. Client: Jeez! That trigger point really hurt!
Massage Therapist: Yeah, if only I would use my powers for good instead of evil.

9. Massage Therapist: Would you like some Tiger Balm down your spine?
Client: No. You shouldn't use that! It's not ecologically sound! It's made with real tigers!
Massage Therapist: Ma'am, I can assure you that Tiger Balm is not that expensive. I've looked at the ingredients and I'm sure it does not contain any tiger residue whatsoever.
Client: Oh. Um. Okay.
Massage Therapist: The Baby Powder, however, contains 96% actual babies.

10. Client: I'm thinking of becoming a Massage Therapist myself. In the job I have now all I hear is complaints and people tell me their problems all day.
Massage Therapist: Spoken as a true healer.
Client: Huh?
Massage Therapist: What is it you do now, again?
Client: I'm a nurse.
Massage Therapist: (Speechless.)

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Knackered

I did 18 chair massages today, with but 2 wee breaks to run to the gents, as big wet stains on the trousers are considered unprofessional. The only negative effects I can report are trying to log in as my password, using my user name as a password, and generally being brain dead. Sleep now.

Monday, October 31, 2005

It's All Hallows, and that DAMN CV comes back to HAUNT me!


Happy horrordays, one and all!
School is officially over after Tuesday--yeah, for all the bloody swots that actually showed up for all the classes--SOME of us will be making up hours a WEEK after graduation, and then forking over even MORE money for make up nights *SIGH*.......... I had an interview with a chair massage company that the beautiful and talented Dawn(see above) referred me to-- they tested my grip strength--fingers only, no thumbs--my right hand was 75 lbs of squeezy pressure, and my left was a whopping 79 lbs. Then on to the thumb compression test--press down with the thumb only--22lbs both sides. Now I understand why I keep breaking my toothbrush-- you should see it "brush,brush,brush,brush SNAP!"--there's Trey, with a broken toothbrush sticking out of his mouth, and the handle in his hand. EEERRRR!! Fire BAD!! Friend GOOD!
I knew I'd omitted something from my CV--Freudian slip, really. Back in '97, while I was doing the video gig, I took on a job as a security guard at an overpriviledged kids dorm off campus. Our official title was "Courtesy Patrol"--could you puke? It was a complete and utter bullshit gig--thankfully, the job came with no actual authority or real duties, other than hourly patrol and recordkeeping--of the patrols. My co-Nazis were the saddest bunch of losers I've ever worked with outside of radio. Real chip-on-the-shoulder bozos, dying for some respect, and failing to earn it. Sad, really. As my boss(too sad to go into now) clearly explained that I was there to keep the building from burning down or letting anyone bleed to death, I made it my mission to teach the little fucks that "discretion is the better part of getting away with it". I had my favorites--the "problem" kids that recognized me as what I was--one of them, all grown up.
I wore my hair very short that year-- short hair on me =scary. Really. So I worked the whole "looking like a psycho" thing-- I allowed my young charges to believe what they liked about me. They figured I was probably a hit man hiding out between jobs. Ok--that'll do. I would occasionally allude to the "to vanish mysteriously" list when they were too naughty. We got along just fine.
As I was dangerously bored most nights, I staged little entertainments for the kids. My favorite was the night that a gaggle of them came in late/drunk/tripping. I met them on the second floor, looking around, acting distracted and a little angry. The monologue went "You know what I HATE?...You hear a noise, you stash the body just for a second to make sure the coast is clear, and when you come back--it's gone. So that can only mean one of three things, none of them good. Either they weren't as dead as you thought--but who survives decapitation? Two, maybe you have some undead zombie thing shambling around, but again, decapitation, so rule THAT one out,too--which leads us to three--someone else found it and moved it. Ok, children--young, impulsive children---is there something you need to tell Trey?"
I wonder how those kids are doing these days, and if they ever recall those days. And how much therapy they had to undergo. Nostalgia.......memory, all alone in the moonlight, la de da dee dee dum da, la la la la la laaaaaaa!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Random Update/ more on my CV/school's nearly done



Phew!! Finished my shiatsu practicum last night--I believe I did well, as the grader/instructor gave me praise at the end. Randy--our instructor (who flew in from chicago--and are his arms tired) is great--looks a bit like the bastard lovechild of Ozzy Osborn and Tommy Lee, and knows that shiatsu cold. Glad it's done with, all the same. School will be over in a week (I still have a make up night the week after graduation), and work is beginning to trickle in, much gratitude to all! I've a client this evening, an interview with a chair massage company this friday, and next thursday I'll be doing a 4 hour chair gig that the lovely Dawn hooked me up with. Bless you,love!
OK-- as it's nearly Samhain (that's pronounced "sah-when") or Halloween, I'd like to take a moment to tell a tale of fear--for pay. Yep, this is a memeory of working at the haunted house I alluded to in the previous post.
My two favorite memories are of working the Frankenstein's lab scene--as the creature, naturally. I'm large, so it was only fitting that I be cast as the monster. To make me even larger, they worked up a pair of stilted boots that made me stand about 6'8", in addition to the head piece. Truly ghastly.
The majority of people who came through were already frightened--we just provided a backdrop for their fear to project upon. Made me almost feel guilty for accepting pay, as our clients had brought their fear with them. One such group was atrio of small boys, about 7-8 years of age. I saw them peer around the corner at the entrance to the scene--when the clapped eyes on Dr. F, the squealed and ran like hell toward the exit--where I was lurking. Not being an utter bastard, I didn't wish for them to encounter me in the darkened exit hall, so I clumped out into the light a few yards clear of the escape route. The smallest lad--clutched in the middle--punched me in the ribs as he was swept past by his larger siblings. I was so proud of him--he glared right at me, and swung his wee fist as hard as he could. Left a wee bruise and everything. I hope he brags about it, as it was quite brave of him.
Another night at the lab, I was working the scene alone while the good doctor skived off for a smoke. Lurking in my corner, I saw a pair of gents enter the scene, surveying the decore. I did my stomp and growl up to the pair-- a couple of gay gents, dressed quite alike, who gave me a very arch nod of the head, as if to say "yes, we see you--what of it?" My response was one of "oh, so I'm not scary,eh?" I growled in my best Karloff imitation:"Monster want new braaaaain. Want learn make bruuuuunch. appreciate operaaaaa. sing show tunes." The gents gave me a quite perterbed look, and scurried toward the exit. I called "wait! Monster having special feelings". The moral of the story--don't patronize the monsters, love. Even if you are someone I'd normally be sympathetic towards, have the manners to at least pretend you're slightly nervous, lest I improvise something more effective than my cliche costume.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

A (mostly complete, I think) Curriculum Vitae


Ok, at Mariana's prompting..........And in order(mostly, I think--again)........
(teens)
teacher's aide ,
cinema assistant manager ,
waiter ,
cook,
radio copywriter/producer (commercials--small station in south Texas) ,
dishwasher ,
kitchen manager/cook,
(20's)
radio personality (dj--see above small station) ,
public service director (see above) ,
janitor (ditto) what can I say--the pay sucked at KOPY,
cook (again),
laboratory assistant (call me "beaker") ,
landscaper,
psychiatric nurse's aide ,
30's
photographer/video producer ,
courier,
safe ride driver (drive drunk people home in their own vehicle) ,
bartender,
caterer ,
(40's)
psychiatric admissions clerk ,
psych tech ,
massage therapist .
(there have been numerous casual/part time/temporary positions, I forget many right now--the coolest was at a haunted house where I was paid to be scary)

My late brother was a jack-of-all-trades type, as was our father. The longest I've remained in any one position is 7 years. I have high hopes for my massage practice-- it's something that ought to stay fresh, particularly with the continuing education requirements. But I admit, I'm already thinking ahead--I want to open my own spa, in the Roman style--a recreation of a Roman bath house, with all the tile mosaics, etc. Also, a retreat/spa combo appeals to me--something like an old summercamp renovated to be a get away. Also, Dawn, Amber and I have discussed opening a Texas themed pub/restaurant somewhere (not Texas, obviously). Who knows what the future will bring? All I can say is, as long as I continue to learn new skills, I ought to stay relatively young(ish).
Here's hoping!
And still, I have the nagging feeling I've forgotton something...............

Sunday, October 16, 2005

My Baby Twin Sister is a Goddess

Amber got us tickets to the Harry Potter premier in November--it's at the Cinema where they serve food and beverages. They are planning a special Hogwarts themed feast to go with the movie, all included in the price of admission. Is she the cat's meow, or what, folks? (hint:MEOW!!!!)

Another 60's memory

I received my license in today's mail--I'm even happier than yesterday. Dawn and I went to Veggie Heaven for dinner and bubble tea, then I spent today in shiatsu training, and had my first client as a pedigreed MT afterward. "tis knackered I'm being!
Ok, time for another 60's flashback: the day I noticed I was breathing!
I was two. I was riding my beloved tricycle. As I careened around a corner, I startled myself, and took in a sudden, sharp inhalation. I'd never noticed myself breathing before that--it had been completely out of my consciousness. I was perturbed, because I couldn't stop doing it. I thought I was entirely too young to have any habits! I went and found Ma, and told her "watch this", and took a breath. I asked her "what's that called?" She replied "It's called "respiration" or "breathing"." I asked "How do I stop?" She replied that didn't, shouldn't, and wouldn't. I insisted that I had never done it before a few minutes ago, and found it annoying. She assured me that I had been doing it since birth. I had my doubts, but since I'd learned anew word/concept, I rode off to have a think about it.
And that,ladies and gents, is the story of how I noticed I was addicted to oxygen.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

FINALLY!!!

I received news today THAT I PASSED THE EXAM!! wOOt! I can now carry on with my career in massage therapy. The state posted a roster of those who passed--there were 690 of us on the list! Since I will be specializing in serving deaf clients, I feel A:no worries about competeing with my friends, and B: not so worried about competition in general. There are approximately 60,000 deaf and hard of hearing individuals living in and around Travis county. Yes, SIXTY THOUSAND. And I've yet to find a therapist specializing in serving them. I worked in the state's only deaf psychiatric facility a few years back, and need to polish up my sighning skills a wee bit, but heavens--I found a niche that needs filling. My immediate financial goals are A: get out of debt, and B: get my teeth fixed. I have monkey fangs--I like them, but they may be a bit scary to people who don't know me well--particularly if they've just disrobed and gotten under the linens on the massage table. I think less feral looking may be a good look for me--I've had nearly 45 years of my sexy fangs, and it will be a couple o' years untill I can afford any major work, so by the time I get around to it, I will have had the wild look long enough. Don't worry--no plan to cut my hair short or anything silly like that.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

News



Priorities, people—priorities…..
Here in Austin, the local state university has a historic rivalry with the corresponding university of our northern bordering neighbor. It is a huge thing here, and has been for what seems like forever. Still, what with Austin’s reputation for having “the most liberal populace in Texas”, you might think that the earthquake in Asia might get more front page space than the local team’s win over the hated rival. Riiiiiiight……..
The earthquake got one column. The college football game? A half page.
Sports mania is something that managed to pass me by, as did rabid fandom of any sort. I know that it is not limited to Texas, or even the U.S. Football hooligans exist the world around. Whatever. Sports fans have existed as far back as imperial Rome—fact. There is something in communal athletic competition that appeals to a large percent of humanity. I get that. My beef is with the local paper. Front page news is usually reserved for national and international events of importance. A huge earthquake in Asia fits that description. A sporting victory—no matter how steeped in local tradition—is better suited to the second section—the “city and state” section. Really, had they devoted the entire first page of the appropriate section to the game, I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash. There is also the whole concept of “news”. The result of the game was widely known to the vast majority of those who give a fuck way before the paper went to press.
Oh, yeah—about that second section…. it was dominated by a really cute photo of a young boy in a tree. Go figure.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Getting to Know my Fear

I just got over a short bout of food poisoning--unpleasant,yes-- and it gave me some insight, of the uncomfortable variety. As people often do when unwell, I had unpleasant dreams, and I realized that they conformed to a pattern that has existed since childhood.
As a young person--8 years old--way too young for existential nausea-- I had a recurring nightmare about a vast room, as big as infinity, with a chessboard floor. I was alone in it, sometimes near a wall, which was frightening--I knew I could walk forever and never find another wall; sometimes I was somewhere towards the middle of the room--also frightening, as I knew I could never reach a wall, no matter if I walked forever. Ok, this dream, easy to interpret-- cosmic insignificance/ultimate aloneness. Way too young, but I was a precocious little bastard.
Then, in adolescence, came the dream about floating in space--no body, just consciousness--holding a huge number in my mind. Before me is a galaxy, and I have to count the atoms in every bit of matter. There are endless galaxies all around me in every direction, I have to count them all, and if I lose count, I'll be sent back to the "beginning". Quite hellish, thanks a lot.
Now, the dream has evolved into one of words--a completed work will manifest in my consciousness, and I'm expected to recall and produce it. Always a vast body of work, complete--and me left to bring it into being.
So that's my fear. Monsters don't scare me-- even as a child, I dreamt about conquering monsters. In one I had as a quite young child of 5, a dragon was in our neighborhood, and I set out to slay it, sword and all. I found it boarding an airplane, and it smiled benignly at me, so I watched it carefully until it was gone. I was willing to kill it, but as it was leaving, and signaling harmlessness, I watched it warily rather than just slaying it because it was a dragon. Rescuing others from monsters has been a theme in my dreams-- they are stressful, but I always manage to come up with something to sort the problem out.
My real fear, I realize, is not being able to live up to a responsibility, failing in a duty that I don't understand, and/or being burdened with more than I can manage.

Happy Birthday to Bart


Bart is my oldest friend--he's 204!(ok, Monty Python reference...) no, really--we've known each other since we were both 9 years old--we met in 1970--that was 3rd grade-- and by the end of the year, we had managed to divide the class into two warring factions, complete with spies and counter spies. I often think that Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes, not the misantropic theologian) was based on him. I'm certain that Pinky and the Brain, Akbar and Jeff, and Ren and Stimpy are based on our friendship. Someday, we'll sue, and then fight over the money.
Today is his 45th birthday. I'm reprinting this amusing e-mail that he put together to cheer me up from a case of food poisoning. It's from some damn book he was reading--he's heavy on the ancients, and Phillip Wylie, and all sorts of mega-brain stuff. He also is a squirrel enthusiast-- they come into his apartment, and one--Shelly--eats from his hand. He is like Snow White, only hairy. Ok, on to the e-mail:

Hope you're feeling a bit better today. Maybe these observations will cheer you up. But before I begin speaking I have a few things I would like to say...
I think, therfore I am?Could be.Unless it's really someone else who only *thinks* he's me!
An apochryphal story:Epimenides the Cretan grew interested in the wisdom of the east,and heard of a wise man called the Buddha. He decided to make the long journey to see for himself if the Buddha was as wise as his reputation, and if so to learn what he could from him. Along the way he considered many questions he could ask trying to determine which would be the best possible inquiry to ask the sainted wise man, and finally made his decision. When he met Buddha he asked, "What is the best question that can be asked, and what is the best answerthat can be given?" The Buddha replied, "The best question that can be asked is the one you have asked. And the best answer that canbe given is the answer I am giving you."
Now a few musical notes:When Mark Twain was asked what he thought of the music of RichardWagner he replied, "Well, it's probably not as bad as it sounds."
Once when the modernist composer Paul Hindemith was rehearsing oneof his more dissonant composition he grew angry, rapped his baton on the podium and said, "No, no, no, gentleman! Even though it sounds wrong it's still not right!"
And now for something completely different:Our Conversation Last Night
Trey: It's true!Bart: It's not!
Trey: Yes it is!Bart: It can't be!
Trey: It's true!Bart: Prove it!
Trey: Well it can't be proved, but it's still true!Bart: How can you say it's true if it can't be proved!
Trey: There are certain thing that are true even thought they can't beproved!Bart: That's not true!
Trey: Yes it is. Godel proved that there are certain things that aretrue but can't be proved!Bart: That's not true!
Trey: It certainly is!Bart: It can't be, and even if it were true, it could never be proved!
Well, now I'm sure you'll agree that this great collection of reflections
provides you with your own quite special way of seeing such things as why
if you don't read this email you'll never be the same again.Hope you feel better now. I've got to close. I've got some sign work to do. I'm making some "Authorized Parking Forbidden"signs!B

Friday, October 07, 2005

National State of Alert Levels of Many Countries

From my wicked friend, Nancy, to my friend Sandy (also wicked), to me(wicked beyond repair)—an e-mail she forwarded. In light of W’s recently escalated fear campaign—hoping we’ll all forget his shameful fuck up with New Orleans and go back to cowering and surrendering our human rights ala post 9/11--
National State of Alert Levels

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, and
the level has just been raised from "miffed" to "peeved." Soon though,
the levels may be raised yet again to "irritated" or even "a bit
cross." Londoners have not been a "bit cross" since the Blitz in 1940
when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "tiresome" to "a bloody
nuisance," the last time a "bloody nuisance" warning level was issued
was during the great fire in 1666.

Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has
raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher
levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by
a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing their military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert: the
Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and
excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing." Two more levels remain,
"ineffective combat operations" and "change sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful
arrogance"
to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs." They have two higher
levels, "invade a neighbor" and "lose."

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe, the Americans have gone
from
"isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east
ripe for regime change." Their remaining higher alert states are "attack
the world" and "beg the British for help."

Finally here in Blightey we've now gone from "pretend nothing's
happening" to "make another cup of tea." Our higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win."

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Call Me a Lazy Sod, but........

sometimes you just have to share.....

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41258

Your Horoscope
October 5, 2005 Issue 41•40
Aries March 21 - April 19
The stars do not usually warn mortals of specific outcomes or specific futures, but if you throw away a pair of face cards to try and fill a straight one more time, they're going to come down there and kill you.
Taurus April 20 - May 20
You'll be swarmed by a rare strain of Americanized killer bees who, unlike their Africanized cousins, just want to hang out and watch TV all day.
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Nothing of note will happen in the part of the week when you'll still be around.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
After three long years, and 18 months before parole, prison sex is just as boring and rote as any other kind.
Leo July 23 - August 22
You thought the magic lamp looked kind of weird, and you're still sort of wondering what exactly that genie meant when he said you would now be immortal in dog years.
Virgo August 23 - September 22
The sun and moon themselves will fall madly in love with you and set about vying for your affection by showering you with gifts, so, unfortunately, you'll be killed Thursday afternoon by a dozen roses and a box of chocolates traveling at near-orbital velocity.
Libra September 23 - October 23
You won't be hit by a bus this week, exactly. Circumstances will unfold so that you're traveling at almost 100 miles an hour when you strike a stationary bus.
Scorpio October 24 - November 21
Do not give up hope for happiness and companionship, for love is very real. However, none of the trite behaviors or quasi-magical aspects you attribute to love actually exist.
Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
People are starting to wonder exactly how many times someone has to yell "Get Funky!" at you before you actually take the hint and do so.
Capricorn December 22 - January 19
You've always known that people are good deep down inside, but it's still a pain to carve away the excess skin and flab to get to the savory parts.
Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Your future seems to contain a great amount of fluorescent lighting, a lot of spreadsheets, and a great many people trying to avoid meaningful contact with you; basically, everything you went to college for.
Pisces February 19 - March 20
You'll be simultaneously struck by mystical lightning, bathed with otherworldly cosmic rays, and injected with the Apollo Serum, so you'll be a pretty powerful superhero if you ever get out of the coma.

nothing like a little vicious satire

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Women I Adore : Pt 1





I am full on crazy about Anjelica Huston. As an actress, she always delights me with her subtle, elegant performances. There is always something powerful, and kind of witchy about her--I love that. Sometimes it's obvious--Morticia Addams, Miss Eva Ernst (The Witches), Viviane(The Mists of Avalon), at other times it's much more restrained--Elanor Zissou leaps to mind ("I've never seen that species of crab mate before the summer solstice"). She can be intimidating and tough--as Maerose Prizzi, as Lilly Dillon (The Grifters), she can be unsympathetic--as the football obsessed mother in Buffalo '66, the Baronness in "Ever After"; she inspires in her portrayals of historic figures-Calamity Jane, Carrie Catt;and in "The Dead", as Gretta Conroy, she brought my favorite character from Joyce's "The Dubliners" to heartwrenching life.
As a person, I find her inspiring. In her first major screen role-Claudia in "A Walk with Love and Death"--she stank up the screen. Really sucked. The story goes that family friend Sir John Gielgud told her, after seeing the film, "next time you feel like acting, lie down until it passes". Ouch. She stayed out of films for 6 years after that, with her first returnto the screen in an uncredited crowd scene in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". She stands as a sterling example of learning from mistakes, humility, and perseverance.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Another 60s Memory

Oh,boy…..this one’s kind of embarrassing.
Ok, in the 60’s, the “rat pack” was the epitome of cool. You know, Sinatra, Dean Martin, all those guys. And people drank like very thirsty fishes on TV—look at an old episode of “Bewitched” for example…. Pitchers of Martinis! So, I made the logical connection—cool guys invited girls they liked back to their place for cocktails. So, at the tender age of 7 (yes SEVEN), I invited a wee lassie back to “the pad” after school. I knew where the ‘rents stashed the booze and mixers, and I was tall enough to reach the highball glasses in the cabinet. The wee lass had no taste for the hard stuff, so I mixed them quite weak, and we sat around and chatted until the ‘rents got home (me being the original latch key kid). Needless to say, they were NOT AMUSED. Nor was the wee girly’s mum, when she came home with WHISKEY ON HER BREATH!!!! I honestly didn’t see what all the palaver was about—it was all completely innocent, as far as I was concerned. If it had happened today, we’d have all been on Springer or Oprah or something. Come to think on it, we got away with lots of things that simply wouldn’t fly today. I’m not really sure how I feel about that—somewhere between smug and embarrassed.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

YOU SPIT, I BOW

found at http://buddhism.kalachakranet.org/resources/buddhist_stories.html

The morning after Philip Kapleau and Professor Phillips arrived at Ryutakuji Monastery they were given a tour of the place by Abbot Soen Nakagawa. Both Americans had been heavily influenced by tales of ancient Chinese masters who'd destroyed sacred texts, and even images of the Buddha, in order to free themselves from attachment to anything. They were thus surprised and disturbed to find themselves being led into a ceremonial hall, where the Roshi invited them to pay respects to a statue of the temple's founder, Hakuin Zenji, by bowing and offering incense.
On seeing Nakagawa bow before the image, Phillips couldn't contain himself, and burst out: "The old Chinese masters burned or spit on Buddha statues! Why do you bow down before them?"
"If you want to spit, you spit," replied the Roshi. "I prefer to bow."

From: One Bird One Stone: 108 American Zen Stories by Sean Murphy

thanks again to Mariana for introducing me to Stumble, the web browser that takes me to all these great sites. Sharing is good karma :)

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Reprint from the Buddhist Channel

Dalai Lama gives 'Presence' to city
By TARA DOOLEY, Houston Chronicle, Sept 20, 2005
Though he calls himself nothing special, his vision inspires millions
Austin, Texas (USA) -- The Dalai Lama, the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhists and political leader of the Tibetan government in exile, will be in Houston today and Thursday. All events are sold out.

The Dalai Lama is known as the Ocean of Wisdom and the Wish-fulfilling Gem. But for some who have met him, the most descriptive title is Kundun, the Presence.
"He enters a room, and even if you didn't see it, you know it," said M. Alejandro Chaoul, a Rice University doctoral candidate who has studied with the Dalai Lama.
Since winning the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989, the Dalai Lama has turned heads as a major political, religious and cultural presence. He has packed arenas around the globe, including the University of Texas Frank Erwin Center in Austin on Tuesday. Free tickets to Thursday's talks at Rice University's Autry Court were claimed within eight hours of becoming available.
"He really models something that this world is hungry for and that everyone realizes is essential," said Anne Klein, a religious studies professor at Rice University who studies Tibetan Buddhism.
"This Dalai Lama has made it clear that he is not only here for the Tibetan people, but he wants to do what he can for the entire world."
In a nearly two-hour talk before 12,000 people in Austin, the Buddhist monk touched on some of his main concerns, such as nonviolence and interfaith dialogue.
The Dalai Lama said he encouraged President Bush to seek peaceful measures after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. But he acknowledged that knowing what to do was "beyond" his wisdom.
He advocated a global responsibility and compassion that he said would begin only when individuals cultivated the same principles within themselves.
He also called for religious harmony, saying that "all religions have some potential to serve humanity." Religion, he said, can offer hope in times of tragedy such as hurricanes.
As political leader of the Tibetan government in exile, he spoke of his people, both living in the Himalayan region and living in exile.
Dressed in traditional red and yellow robes and carrying a small red satchel, the Dalai Lama entered to a standing ovation. He spoke in English with the occasional help of a translator and near the start of his talk assured the crowd that he is "nothing special."
He told listeners that if they found his ideas interesting they should follow up with "further investigation."
"If you think these ideas are not much of interest, then forget it," he said, drawing a laugh from the crowd.
Bodhisattva of Compassion
"Dalai Lama" means Ocean of Wisdom. The current Dalai Lama is the 14th in a line of leaders stretching back to the 14th century. Each is considered the reincarnation of the Bodhisattva of Compassion, "an expression of all the compassion of the past, present and future of all Buddhas and all enlightened beings," Klein said.
Rather than serving as sort of a pope of the Buddhists, the Dalai Lama is trained in one of Tibet's five religious traditions. He is recognized as the spiritual leader for all Tibetan Buddhists and revered by practitioners across the many Buddhist traditions.
An international leader
The Dalai Lama was born Lhamo Dhondrub in 1935 to a peasant family in eastern Tibet. He was discovered at 2 to be the reincarnation of the previous Dalai Lama. Taking the name Tenzin Gyatso, he was installed in Lhasa, the capital of Tibet, in 1940. When China invaded Tibet, the Dalai Lama was working on his rigorous Buddhist training and serving as head of government. He was 15.
In 1959, after the Chinese suppressed a Tibetan uprising, the Dalai Lama escaped Tibet for India and set up a government and residence in exile in Dharamsala. About 130,000 Tibetans now live in exile.
Prompted in part by history but also by personality and mission, the Dalai Lama embarked on a path that has made him the most unusual leader from what had been a largely isolated country nestled in the mountains.
"It is totally extraordinary," Klein said. "It is the first time in history that a Dalai Lama has become a world-renowned figure."
His popularity stems from a sense that he lives what he believes, said Dr. Howard Cutler, a Phoenix-based psychiatrist who worked with the Dalai Lama on The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living, a 1998 book that was on the New York Times best-seller list for 97 weeks.
"People sense that he has a kind of certain moral authority," Cutler said. "He genuinely lives by what he talks about."
A keeper of tradition
Though an international star, the Dalai Lama often refers to himself as a simple monk. And he is — in part, said Cutler, who met the monk in 1982 and is working on his third book with him.
Despite his schedule, the 70-year-old rises well before dawn for at least four hours of prayer and meditation, Cutler said. As a monk, he has taken vows of celibacy and does not own personal property. According to tradition for monks, he usually does not eat dinner and goes to bed early.
Though he speaks to a general audience about universal themes, the Dalai Lama's talks to the faithful are often detailed exegeses of ancient Buddhist texts, many of which he can quote from memory.
"Very few people know that he is an unparalleled scholar of his own tradition," said Klein, a founder of Dawn Mountain, which offers Tibetan Buddhist teaching in Houston.
A main part of the Dalai Lama's role has been as champion of Tibet and its people.
Some, however, have criticized him for advocating autonomy rather than calling for Tibetan independence from China.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Great Ginormous Sigh of Relief

Phew! Just finished taking the state exam for massage therapy-- three words for it. Piece of cake. I feel this bizarre giddy/calm/unreal feeling. This was something I was a bit apprehensive about, and it turned out to be a pleasant experience. Let's hope hurricane Rita is the same sort of thing-- scary on approach, but not so much when you look back on it. Many of the people taking the test came from various points across the state--as far as El Paso(!), a few from Dallas, and some from Galveston and Houston. Best of luck to you all-- may the wind and water be kind. I have to admit, I was a bit embarassed to live so close to the testing site. It was a mere 10 minute drive, and they held it at the most posh hotel I'ver ever been in. Just amazingly luxurious. Besides the test, there were a large number of people with dogs-- must have been a dog show in town. It was quite nice to see a pet friendly facility, particularly one that posh. I suppose for what they charge, they can afford to clean up after any "wee" accidents. If you are ever here, stop by the Rennaissance Hotel on Arboretum Blvd, and see what I mean. Wowsers!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Panic in the Aisles

I just got back from the grocerey store-- goodness! Apocalypse redux! People are full on freaking out here. After the devestation in New Orleans, and the pathetic mishandling by our civil authorities, I can understand a bit of apprehension; however..... here are some facts easily verified by any search engine. Austin is 208 miles from the coast at the closest point(Galveston). We are 406 feet above sea level at our lowest point, 1,080 at the highest. My brother's house lies 50 miles west of New Orleans, and he had minimal damage-- lost some shingles from the roof, had a shrubbery blow away, and has to rebuild a portion of his fence. We have survived several floods here in Austin-- some quite nasty. Most of us are aware of the hazardous places-- the new Whole Foods location is right smack in the midst of the area hit the worst in the labor day floods of 1980, and the city has taken some pains to improve the drainage since then. We're going to be fine, people. I believe the worst thing you will face is a storage problem for all the bottled water and toilet paper ya'll are hoarding. And those $1,000 generators? Ebay ext-nay eek-way, icken-chay ittle-lay.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

His Holiness/raw chocolate/Mi Maestra

wow. I'm glad I was able to sit--otherwise, I might have fallen over. I actually felt a shift in my consciousness at the lecture-- a bit lightheaded, and tears of joy actually welled up a few times. His holiness the Dalai Lama was comfortable to be near. He assured us that we were all his equals. He was humble, wise , and compassionate. I wish I could be a bit more articulate about it--maybe next week.
In other news-- my friend and fellow student< Matthew, turned me on to raw chocolate. Again, wow. Chocolate that is actually beneficial to your health. Fancy that!
And this just in-- see the side bar? The links? Mariana directed me towards the info I needed to adjust the template-- thanks again, M! You rock as hard as ever-- here's a transatlantic cyber hug! thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Bigotry Never Rests/ W Tells the Truth /Bad Taste Takes a Holiday

Ok--go to Snopes.com, and see for yourself.http://www.snopes.com/info/whatsnew.asp
In the wake of hurricane Katrina, there have been a number of faux "first hand" reports of horrid behavior by evacuees. The gist of these hateful lies is "they are shiftless, the dregs of society, we shouldn't help them, they are ungreatful" etc etc etc. So far, not ONE of these alleged eyewitness accounts has proved to be true/accurate/fair/anything other than lies fabricated by rabid racist fucktard shit- for-brains losers intent on spreading their all too familiar banal evil, something we specialize in here in the southern United States. Take a breath, Trey......
In other news, after a rain of "It's not Bush's responsibility for the disgraceful mess" from conservatives, W turns around and claims responsibility. Bravo, sir. For once, I believe you.
And this just in-- I owe Celine Dion an apolgy. While I continue to find her music not to my liking in the extremest measure, she did have the courage to speak out about the government's poor handling of the crisis. Merci bien, Madame, et "brava", mais pas pour tes chantes. I know, my french is merde.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Kind Words: A Testimonial


My darling baby twin sister posted the nicest testimonial on "My Space", and I had to share it with you. It is wonderful to have the support of loved ones when starting a new business. Amber started nursing school about the same time I started massage school. Nature gave her not only looks and brains, but a kind heart, as well. She wrote:

"Trey is the coolest sweetest guy! Once in his presense you will be so totally relaxed that a big sigh may escape your lips that may subtly/unconsciously sound like "home". He is like Santa Claus except not scary - soft spoken like Micheal Jackson, but you know, not sweet on eight year old crackers or anything.hahahaha. I don't know,you have to meet him; He's worked years with people w/ mental illness, mental retardation,the elderly, etc. He is a born nurturer- and spiritualy androgenous. He also happens to be my twin brother- by 19 years-which makes him triple cool...make that quadruple.."

Thank you, sweetheart!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Wow--that sucked

Cue The Doors--"Strange Days"-- they've found us, but we're hiding behind the sofa, and pretending we're not at home. A computer virus- I rooted out myself, thank you for bloody nothing, oh my "protection" software, a series of technical difficulties, small on their own, but potent in a swarm, blah blah blah--you get it. It's been a bitch the past couple o'days, but I managed to keep my cool--I didn't bite anyone, full moon or not.
The most difficult exam given in this semester is behind me. The written was a bit brutal, but on the practical, my subject moaned a bit, and a one point exclaimed "that feels great"-- bless him! That can't have hurt my grade.
We start shiatsu next week, right after the lecture by his holiness, the Dalai Lama. Then, on friday, I sit for the state exam, and take the practical that afternoon. Then, the waiting for the results/ license part begins. Wish me luck!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Door to Door Bigotry

Ugh. Some charmless asshole that lives in my neighborhood just knocked me up to see if I knew where "some trouble makers" lived. Someone told him a big guy that lived on the corner and used to be a bouncer knew where a particular group of young people--vandals--lived. I live on the corner, and have that "former bouncer" look, so that mistake was understandable. What I didn't "get" was his assumption that his car window was broken by "mexicans". He also assumed I would sympathise with his racist bullshit. oh, so wrong. But thank you, mr. anonymous shit- for -brains, for bearding me in my den, and treating me a taste of banal evil. How kind of you to volunteer for the neighborhood hatred home delvery service. I'm certain other inbred fucktards will be thrilled to have one of their own reinforce their pathetic prejudices. FYI-- the majority of youth in this area are of the caucasion persuasion-- the kids you see driving drunk down residential streets tend to be very white, thanks alot. Also, thanks for informing me that you took your .45 out of its "secret place" and placed it next to your window-- it confirmed my suspicions re: penis envy. Thanks, also, for reinforcing my distrust of my own age group. You fucks haven't changed since junior high. jesus, I could just puke.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Xenophobia Haunts Us Still


Mariana has written an insightful post on bigotry @ Gatochy's Blog http://gatochy.blogspot.com/-- it stirred up more than I felt would be appropriate in the comments box, hence this post of my own.
On the heels of our national disaster, this topic is quite timely. While the majority of people have shown compassion for their fellow man, there have been a number of bigots spouting their hatred, as well.
I remember Dr. King. I recall the Watts riots. The U.S. was a haven of institutionalized racism in my childhood. The word "nigger" was openly used in polite society, as was "nigger lover". Bigotry was mostly unchallenged, and those who did oppose it were marginalized and vilified. People who considered themselves to be christians denied the basic humanity of black and hispanic citizens-- claiming that they were soulless animals, just waiting to overrun the country and rape all the white women. It was a disgusting time here. Our state and local governments enforced the division of ethnic groups, with bathrooms set up for men, women, and "colored". I remember anglos openly staring with hostility at any person of color driving a new car-- as though it had been stolen from them.
I came across this photo in today's paper. This gentleman haunts me. I first noticed his expression-- it looks kind and friendly to me; even in the face of this horrific tragedy, he smiles toward the photographer. Then I was struck by his apparent age and the evidence that he has been doing physical labor, even into his elder years. His hair is white-- beard and chest hair included. Look at the strong arms, chest, and shoulders. This man has obviously been working hard. I really doubt-- given the state of poverty in Louisiana-- that he got that body at the gym. A lifetime of hard labor is more likely where he developed his physique. Where he got the spirit to keep smiling in the face of disaster and grotesque economic disparity is what I want to know.
While fewer people are openly racist these days, it seems that those who embrace racial hatred do so more fervently. My own family is multi-ethnic. My grandmother did all she could to hide her Cherokee half-- we got whiter and whiter as the years went by, until her stroke. Then, she forgot to deny being indian (I hate the term "native american"-- it was coined in 1972 by the dept. of the interior to describe all the tribes, along with hawaiians). My father was part black (remember "black is beautiful" from the 70's? "african american" smacks of insincere, condescending white guilt), and violently denied his heritage. He actually beat me unconscious at the age of 7, after I told him I wanted to marry Uleta Johnson when I grew up. She was kind, patient, honest, and sweet, and I truly adored her. After dad beat the hell out me, he fired her mum as our housekeeper. After all the trouble he'd gone to marry a white woman (he thought), he wasn't about to have me bring black features back into the family.
I thought we would have overcome this shameful tendency by now. I was heartbroken when I first encountered my first bigot with long hair. Talk about learning not to judge by appearance!

Gossipy Update Re:Innapropriate Clients

Short version: Someone e-mailed our group, obviously looking for a hook up "Masculine, in shape guy, drug/disease free, seeks sports massage". His handle was "Bi Texas Fisherman". Do you smell something fishy? It was obvious that the guy was looking for sex. Ok, the "love and light" guy? Totally defensive-- actually, offensive-- when group members made note of the dodgy, not at all proper aspects. I thought his profesional bounderies might be a bit lax, now I know they are beyond lax, practically non-existant. All the sanctimonious "love and light" blather seems to be a thin veneer, covering a creepy core. I can't say as I'm terribly surprized, as he was a bit aggro about it the first time. Yobbos like him give us hippies a bad name, durn it!

The Excitement Grows

Ok-- Snayd got our tickets to go and hear his holiness, the Dalai Lama speak September 20th. The lecture begins at 4pm-- his holiness is getting on in years-- then I'm treating Snayd (Sandy misspelled, or Sinead mispronounced) to dinner. The following weekend, I'm taking the state examination for massage therapy. I'm not nervous-- I want to get it over with, and get on with my practice.
Our Delta reported back this week-- he's been to a festival that I'm a bit keen on attending next year. http://deltaavidelta.blogspot.com/ It was the massage area that got my attention, then I saw the rest, and I'm all frothy. I've been researching the requirements to practice massage in Eire-- I fired off several e-mails to working practitoners and schools. What I've gleaned thus far-- looks like a simple 135 contact hour program will get you ready to begin a practice. I'll be at about 550 hours this November, and should be ready for the National Certification in January. I'm hoping to peddle my wares worldwide-- yeah, that's it! I'll be a massage exporter. Have hands, will travel. Coming soon to a table near you. I could go on, but as the fatigue is making me goofy, I'll quit for now. g'nite.

Friday, September 02, 2005

The Dalai Lama to visit Austin

The day grows closer-- September 20th, his holiness the Dalai Lama will be speaking in a free lecture at the Frank Erwin Center, here in Austin. The tickets are free, available on a first come, first served basis, starting at 7am, tuesday September 6th. Tickets will be available 2 per person, and the lecture will be arena seating. See you there!

Tragedy in New Orleans

I'm having a hard time expressing myself. Partly--how the hell do you do something like this any justice? Partly shock. Partly inarticulate grief. New Orleans is exactly east of Austin, just 10 hours. Less than half a day away is hell on earth. Our most beautiful city in ruins, the ecosphere contaminated by biological agents from rotting flesh and chemical agents from flooded oil refineries, human misery compounding hourly, number of survivors actually dropping.
People have tried to compare Katrina to 9/11. The only similarity is that they are both grand scale tragedies. The attacks on New York and D.C. were fast, and unanticipated. New York did not lose power, plumbing or food deliveries on a wide scale. Order was never really lost-- there was the understanding that the city had been attacked. That tends to draw people together-- a common enemy. Katrina we saw coming. Those who could evacuate, did. Those who remained behind experienced a terrifying storm, followed by a hellish aftermath. Ongoing misery, hunger, thirst-- these all tend to bring out the worst in people. Those looting televisions must be idiots, or in deep denial. They have yet to realize how low on the list of priorities material luxeries become in a crisis. They are weighing themselves down with useless objects. Pretty much everything in the city limits is an insurance loss.
Dubya is dispatching troops to restore order, with a special emphasis on stopping looters. Ok, looting VERY BAD, but might we focus on getting people the hell out of there, so maybe they won't need to rummage through things that aren't theirs for survival? How fucking dare anyone place more value on inanimate objects that human suffering? How the hell does that work? The first and only priority should be delivering our fellow man from harm. If ya wanna go back for yer stuff afterward, ok. But it's probably not worth having anymore, between water damage, mold, etc-- seriously.
I hope we will learn from this, and make New Orleans a better, safer city. I hope she will be the first city in the US to ban guns outright. With the obscene murder rate, and the assaults on rescue workers, I think we've witnessed what a bad idea our love affair with firearms really is. Everytime we have a tragedy involving firearms--Columbine, for instance-- gun lobbyists froth on about guns being a good thing that preserve our freedom. Bullshit, ya'll. If it weren't for the sniping at helicopters and trucks, more people would be less miserable. We need to wake up to the nightmare that an armed populace is. Nature gives us enough trouble--we shouldn't ought to compound it.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Happy Blog Birthday Gatochy!!

Mariana has been blogging her heart out for a year now. I have been a faithful reader since I first came across Gatochy's Blog by accident last November. I can honestly say I have learned to enjoy my computer more thanks to her example. Hers was the very first blog I ever saw, when I had never heard the word before. I was puzzled, I was pleased, and ultimately, I was inspired when I was done being puzzled. It took me a bit to understand what a valuable resource for self expression blogging is, and Mariana set an example for eclectic, witty, philosophical, and funny blogging.
Here's to another year of So Cute You Could Puke.
Another year of Image Association.
Another year of Celebrity Look alikes.
Another year (please!) of Thank You, Sir.
Another 12 months of Only in Portugal.
More Lovely Creatures, If They Mated, and all the rest, and all the new things that will no doubt evolve in this second year of blogging. Looking forward to it, as ever.
http://gatochy.blogspot.com/

Friday, August 26, 2005

My First Day of Sunday School--a 60's memory


We have a strange custom here of sending children to "sunday school"-- two words that were never meant to sit beside each other. School on Sunday ? Oxymoronic. I remember the earliest years of my "religious education"-- we made silkscreened pictures of praying children and origami swans. It was great fun, being creative and mingling with the other children. It was a comfy place, with cooperative play and kindness enforced-- no fear of ill manneed bullies spoiling the fun. Suddenly, or so it seemed, I was too old for the little kids group, and graduated to the more formal indoctrination process.
The lady in charge of us was an older plump white haired dear named Mrs. Winsett. She had a kind face and a soothing voice, and a really soft lap to sit on. She had us pull our chairs into a circle-- I dug that ( lil' pagan me). Then she asked us to close our eyes and imagine what god must look like. That struck me as a bit silly-- if someone is everywhere at once, how could they look like anything but a thin mist- at best? But I was game, so.... kabam! I instantly got an image! It was of a thirty-ish man with black hair, dark eyes, olive complexion, wearing a white nehru jacket, sitting on a flying carpet. He looked alot like Alejandro Rey ( though "The Flying Nun" had yet to debut). It was thrilling, and I was eager to share with the group-- up goes my hand-- but fortunately, Mrs. W. chose to go around the circle, starting with the wee lad to her left. He spoke of an old man with a long white beard. I was amused, and somewhat embarassed for him, anticipating how humiliated he would be when the next kid told him about the flying carpet guy. But, to my surprize, the next kid parroted the first, and so on.
I was lost in thought waiting for my turn. I was remembering a conversation I'd had with Ma about a year before. I'd been playing with my building blocks in her room, and had just built a towering high rise in one minute! Look, Ma! I put up a block of flats in one minute! She oohed and aaawed, and asked me "Who are you? Tony the Tiger?" I replied "NO, even better-- I'm Jesus!" Bless Ma-- she totally kept her cool-- annd we had a chat about how other people would find such a statement offensive. We concluded the chat with the understanding that religious matters were quite sensitive, and the best course of action was not to " rock the boat " or otherwise provoke superstitious ire.
So there I was, dreading my turn, not wanting to lie, but understanding that it was probably the safest thing to do. When my turn came, I mumbled " I saw the same thing he saw".
I don't know what I felt the worst about-- lying, or knowing I was alone in my vision. Heavy shit for a 4 year old.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Inappropriate Clients

I joined an on line group for massage therapists-- it puts a ton of e-mail in my box on a daily basis. Some are about job opportunities, others about classes offered, and the rest are open forum discussions about various issues we encounter. I am new to the group, and generally "keep my mouth shut and try to learn". But one question begged an answer. A female therapist asked the group about how to deal with a male client who was behaving in a way that made her feel uncomfortable. He would stare at her during the session, touch her, and drop hints. She was trying to give him benefit of the doubt, but her description of his behavior set off my personal alarms. I replied that she should honor her intuition and grasp of the obvious, and that she owed this gent nothing more than direct honest communication, as in "I am uncomfortable working with you any more". This brought on a flurry of responses, mostly from a male practitioner who works in tandem with another. His position was "don't discard this poor individual, educate them with love and light so they can benefit from the experience." Many long posts about not being judgmental, not discarding a paying client because of "squeamishness"-- looked like hippy bullshit to me, and I'm pretty much an old hippy myself. After about a week of this (with the "love and light" guy getting increasingly self righteous and judgmental himself), the woman who posted the original question got back to us with a follow up. She tried the "love and light" routine, to no avail. The guy was full of shit, and did his best to weasel around her boundaries--even asked her for a date! My point is-- we know when someone is pushing our limits/being creepy. Wherever you may encounter this in life-- honor your gut feeling. If you don't feel safe in a situation, get out of it. Err on the side of caution. It is not the therapist's job to rehabilitate sexual predators. Show them the door, and warn your peers.
On a MUCH happier note-- Mariana has a second blog!! It's called "Why Hello ,Kitty", and it is delightful-- she posts HK sighting she finds on the 'net. I must admit, I wasn't much of a HK fan before reading her faboo Gatochy's Blog-- I caught on pretty quick, though. So for your blog reading pleasure, here are links to her twin blogs http://gatochy.blogspot.com/ the original
and http://kittyhellohellokitty.blogspot.com/

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Contact Juggling Update

I am still pretty obsessed with CJ. "The Kids" have a huge nest I made, and I have gotten much more fluid. I CJ the produce in the grocery store when no one's looking. If I ever figure out how to link video on this durn blog, I'll show ya'll some tricks or something. It is SO MUCH FUN!!

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Kriyas

In bodywork--particularly the deeper modalities--we look for "working signs" as cues to move to the next spot. Working signs include borborisms ( stomache noises),facial expressions, and "kriyas", or twitches that signal a release. Today was kriya day.
We have several projects this semester-- I was working with my final project partner--the recipient of 10 sessions of structural bodywork-- and we seemed to hit on some good spots. I saw a number and variety of kriyas, some so dramatic that it kinda spooked me for a second. But once my friend expressed that not only was he ok, but feeling great, it became intensely groovy to watch his body respond in unexpected ways. His forearm spasmed when I was working on the back of his thigh. Like I said, unexpected.
The more I learn about this stuff, the happier I am with my choice of livlihood.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Don't Ya Just Hate It When......


you are watching a movie, la la la,and then a character pops up that makes you squirm with embarassed self recognition? For me, it was the SouthPark movie. No, seriously--I'm not kidding! The character "The Mole" is a bitter, foul mouthed, chainsmoking atheist - so much like little Trey was. Here's some bits from the Wikipedia entry on him:

"The Mole is a mercenary for hire who specializes in digging and navigating
tunnels, hence his nickname. He is French and speaks with an accent, although he
is fluent in English. According to him, his mother tried to perform an abortion
on herself while pregnant with him; however, the veracity of this statement is
debatable. All we know of his mother is that she is also French and is to some
degree religious. The Mole, in keeping with his French existentialist
stereotype, frequently says derogatory things about God, which get him grounded.
He is a worldly chain-smoker who seems as though he belongs somewhere in Les
Miserables or possibly the French Resistance of WWII. He wears a dark green
shirt with rolled-up sleeves, dark brown pants, and black gloves with no
fingers. He has a shovel and wears a baldric from his left shoulder to his right
hip that keeps it in place. The Mole also keeps a coil of rope wrapped around
his right shoulder. His hair is dark brown and messy; his eyebrows are rather
bushy, compared to those of the other children. He has crow's feet and dark
circles under his eyes. "

Quotes
"Shh! Who are you?! Who sent you?!"
"Come on,
bitches."
"Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in ze heart
with a clotheshanger while still in ze womb?"
"God? He is the biggest bitch
of them all."
"Why am I grounded? Because God hates me, that's why. He has
made my life miserable, so I call him a cock-sucking asshole, and I get
grounded."
"Meet me in the backyard in five minutes. Viva la RĂ©sistance.
We'll show God that we're not gonna fucking take anymore--" ("WHAT IS THAT?!
CHRISTOPHE, GET IN HERE!") "--coming, Mother!"
(Dying) "Where is your
God when you need him? Where is your beautiful, merciful faggot now? Here I come
God, here I come, you fucking rat!"
"You realize that by doing zis, we could
be grounded for two, maybe even three weeks."
"You have to stop thinking
with your dick! You need to be on your toes! Because I am not going to be
grounded again! Not for you! Not for anybody!"

Cute, no?

Yeah, I was a pissed off kid. I told my family when I was 9 that I was not going to attend church any longer, as I didn't believe and it was a dishonest sham for me to pretend otherwise (but in a 9 year old's vocabulary). This started a battle with the local Baptist church, played out in my livingroom every Wednesday night for the next several years. Two adults and a kid my age would turn up like fucking clockwork, trying to convince me to return to their fold. Every week I would begin by politely declining and asking them to please leave. They NEVER did. Eventually I would demand that they leave-- ok, I think my exact words were "fuck off right now, you bastards"-- this drama played out over and over again. The poor bastards. It must have been somewhat humiliating to be given the bum's rush by a child. They probably had some masochistic tendencies, so I guess they were getting some secondary benefits from the experience.

Friday, August 05, 2005

For Blog's Sake!!

Ok, no excuses.......ok, that was patently B.S., here's my excuse--no, excuses ( a list! No -brainer blogging!!)

For not posting in such a long damn time: school's a bitch right now-- we've been on the structural bodywork thing a few weeks now, and it's busting my bonce. No fear, I have a dodgy learning style that requires complete non-comprehension followed by an epiphany. The we get to learn shiatsu, so suspect while I'm absorbing the whole eastern concept of meridians, I'll either be blogless or bashing on about shiatsu. You've been warned.

For the broken glass pane on the coffee table: It was Rufus, the red sphere. In fact, he's been renamed "Vivian", after the character in "The Young Ones". I wasn't even in the room, yeah, that's it, I was.....writing a sunday sermon/helping an old lady out of a tree/baking cookies for the illiterate when I heard a loud crash, and ther was Vivian, bits of glass all around him, and two new slash marks on his surface. Yeah--it's not like I got clumsy/careless/overconfident or anything...........

For the immaculate state of my living space these days: I'm possessed. It's the only possible reason I would suddenly blossom into a good housekeeper. I fucking SCOURED THE STOVE TOP, for god's sake!! Who ARE you, and what have you done with Trey? And where's all the clutter? Next thing you know, I'll be exercising and eating healthy- somebody stop me! Becoming a massage therapist has moulded me into a mellow, health conscious hippy; being self employed has made me more organised and productive. wow.

Mariana's stellar talent continues to shine--her "Thank You, Sir" series is provocative and mysterious--(insert my usual reference to G's editing prowess)http://gatochy.blogspot.com/

Delta has survived a *shudder* hair-c-c-cut! cut! cut!cutting! blood! artery spurt-hitchcock--psycho-oh-what-a-giveaway! But be warned--graphic image of shorn hair--I keep waking up in a puddle of...well, let's say I've got a carpet to clean just in front of the monitor, and let it go. Oh, yes, other things have transpired post the*ahem*event........................http://deltaavidelta.blogspot.com/

Thursday, July 14, 2005

It's Still Hot Here

The temperature is still in the 100's. My grass is crisp--doesn't the sprinkler look sad?
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
I almost didn't recognize this when I first saw it-- a moment of superstitious dread later, I remembered "Clouds"....oh, yeah......

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Here's a bit of scorched earth, just outside my kitchen window

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
and this is what the autobalance did to another angle on the cloud-- looks like summer in hell......or Texas!
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Ya'll stay cool,now!
Blog Widget by LinkWithin