Monday, December 12, 2005

More Tales From the 60's-My First Xmas

My first holiday is as fresh in my memory as if it were just yesterday. The ECT hasn't done a damn thing.....
Ok, I was 11 months old, and had been learning to speak english from the television for the past month. The month before that, I had been speaking Czech, but only to the housekeeper. She was the only adult that didn't "baby talk" to me, so I figured she was the only one that wasn't crippled by imbecility and was my link to learning.
Once my babbling had been identified as a foreign language, the TV was designated as my "learning to talk buddy". My brothers noticed that whenever a robot appeared on screen--Robby the Robot in particular--I went balistic with delight. Being good brothers, they decided to get me my own toy robot for christmas. They saved their allowances and got the most expensive toy robot they could find. One with A HUMAN HEAD!!!!
So along comes christmas eve. It was my first, so while it struck me as strange and new, it got factored in with EVERYTHING being strange and new. I chilled behind the tree chewing my favorite doorstop (rubber,wedge shaped) whilst the family opened gifts.
Without warning, I was whisked out from behind the tree, and given a brightly wrapped box, complete with ribons and bows. It was so pretty--the first I'd ever seen up close. I was happy with the pretty box, but no, the family expected me to open it. Inside I found a box with a picture of a spaceman on it. How thoughtful! I was encouraged to open the box, where, to my horror, I found a tin robot body with a plastic bubble up top containing a HUMAN HEAD!!!
Have you ever heard a small child squeal with terror? Ear splitting.
The rest of the night was filled with my brothers trying their best to get me to play with the horrible terrifying head stealing robot assassin-- I was just sure they'd taken out life insurance on me, and were looking to cash in. I stayed safely behind Ma, armed with my trusty doorstop.

3 comments:

M said...

Oh, and I forgot to tell you: the best way to prevent posts getting lost forever, is to have a back-up: every two or three paragraphs copy and paste what you've written so far onto a notepad and save that information. This way, if your for some reason post disappears you have a back-up.

Another thing that (sometimes) works is to click on "Recover Post".

Kurt said...

I wish I had had a link to learning as a child.

Trey said...

I was pretty adamant about wringing every drop of information out of every adult I encountered. They found it unsettling for some reason, being quizzed by a small child, and being addressed as "you, human". Some people are so fuckin sensitive.......

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