The Banality of Evil: MySpace

One major hazard of close relationships with young people is MySpace. It electronically recreates the high school clique--SHUDDER--and provides a way to stay in contact with Amber, she who rarely checks her e-mail. So I give vent to my inner evil genius--think Stewie crossed with Dr. Evil--and all the painfully childish surveys that show up on the bulletin board get a fresh coat of megalomania, and passed on. It amuses me to toy with them....for now.


The Isolater
Date:
Mar 25, 2006 1:25 PM
Subject:
30 Impertinent Questions

1. What does your MySpace name mean?

Oh, my…you certainly do ask the hard hitting questions! Look it up in the dictionary, you drooling buffoon!

2. Elaborate on your default photo:

What utter boredom! Next question!

4. What's your current relationship status?

Are you coming on to me?

5. What EXACTLY are you wearing right now?

Besides this bored, disgusted expression? Why do you ask?

6.What is your current problem?

I’m being interrogated by an idiot

7. Who do you love?

Who sent you? Don’t make ANY sudden moves……

8. What makes you most happy?

Oh, really! Why don’t you try being subtle! You were obviously sent by my enemies to gather information…..

9. Are you musically inclined?

Yes, but not as inclined as I am to destroy the cat’s paw puppet of my enemies….

10. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?

Oh, NOW the REAL reason you’re here….WHAT DO YOU KNOW? WHO SENT YOU?

11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be?

Again with the thinly veiled leading questions…..you are either quite brave, or an utter fool…..

12. Ever have a near death experience?

*SIGH*

13. Name an obvious quality you have?

That is a command. I don’t respond to commands, other than with violence. And you DON’T end a command with a question mark, you illiterate ninny!

14. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?

Little Fugue in d minor

15. Who did you cut and paste this from?

Orlock---did HE send you?

16. Name someone with the same b-day as you:

Gypsie Rose Lee, and say "please"

17. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?

Is an ego considered private property?

18. Have you ever been in a fight?

What do you think I pay the henchmen for? Their conversational skills?

19. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?

Of course

20. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Are they caring any weapons?

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?

You disgust me

22.Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?

I punched my own tooth out once. It was taunting me

24. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?

I tolerate NO disrespect!

25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?

Of course

26. Did you have braces?

DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAD BRACES????? IDIOT!!!!

27. Are you comfortable with your height?

No! In fact, I’ve joined Height Watchers. I hope to lose a foot and a half

28. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?

Disappeared completely

29. Do you speak any other languages?

Non, rein.

30. Do you have a crush on someone on your myspace?

I WAS going to give you a swift, merciful death….NOW I may just drag it out a bit….
Now, about the mysteriously missing question 3......