Random Lili Taylor

I must confess--I really dig Lili Taylor. Not in an obsessive kind of way--there's tons of stuff she's done that I've never seen/might not ever see--I just really enjoy her when I do see something she's in. It's a combination of her feline looks, pleasing low pitched voice, and gestalt.
Ok--I'm done. I really didn't have much to say. And I see that this photo fails to capture the cat-like aspects of her face--I just like it.
Go look at this funny Joan Crawford montage video.
http://www.dan-o-ramaproductions.com/club_10b.html

Random Fiona Apple

Fiona's cover of "Sally's Song" from The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Her voice really suits this tune, and the arrangement is lovely.

Ice Storm Memories

Sigh.......I'm feeling nostalgic---for last week. It was quite pleasant having a meteorologically enforced time out after the post holiday massage rush (NOT complaining BTW). I spent 4 days inside, cooking, napping, watching cartoons and Hammer Horrors, and playing bass. Oh, yeah--and I took pictures for posterity.
(Why does that word always remind me of J Lo?)
The frozen air conditioning unit was beautiful and vaguely ironic.
The frozen cherub is just kinda poignant, or ironic if you think of Dante---if you are inclined to think suchly.

Granny Weathervane had a half inch of ice all along her top edge. Doesn't look very pleased about it, either.
The plantstand had nearly an inch of ice atop it--like a lense, or a covered walkway in St. Paul.
My bike looks forlorn, with the icy overhangs at brake, grip, and pedal. Good thing I hadn't planned to ride it just then. I should get a really good ride in as soon as the weather permits--all that cooking? Lead to eating.

Making the Most of Technology

Remember, kids---your monitor and keyboard make a dandy music stand!

Mwahhh-haaaa-haaaa!!!! My plan begins to come together.....

The various elements are beginning to come together--not quite at "gelling" stage--that takes more time in the 'fridge...........power tools--nearly complete..........building supplies--close by..........inspiration--check..........final book of forbidden knowledge---double check!!

Amber gave me a copy of Puppet Planet by John Kennedy (not that one) as a birthday gift--don't worry, she pretty much knows what she's unleashing on the world. I've had a puppet affinity since childhood that just hasn't cleared up. And as far as inspiration goes--remember all the brooding I've been doing about the narcissists in my past? Well.........puppetry is the best revenge, someone(me) once said (just this evening, to Morgan, at work). I had an epiphany---why let all those annoying memories just be a source of unhappiness? Why not, rather, harness all that crazy into something fun and funny?

So, the before mentioned puppet theatre will be built. Puppets shall be constructed, scripts written, and friends roped into performing. They know that if they refuse, I'll just parody them in puppet form. Stay tuned.......muah-ha-ha-ha-ha-hee-hee-hee-hee-giggle-giggle-chuckle...

Freezin Down in Texas

Brrrrrr!

We are used to god aweful heat done here, so this kind of frigid weather always throws us for a loop. Austin has been on ice since monday--really frozen in since tuesday.

I put up this parachute last summer, to block the westering sun. It has done a great job of keeping the ice and snow out of the carport--plus, when they froze, they would creak in the wind like frozen sails on a pirate ship. Sorry--cabin fever.....

There is a huge icycle in front of ma's ront window--it just keeps getting bigger.

Granny weathervane has a quarter inch of ice on her--no jokes about witches' anatomy and cold, ok? The birdbath cherub is frozen in up to his waiste. No shrinkage jokes, either, allright?

The birds know they can find food here--the parrots obviously spread the word. These guys are monk parrots, but they didn't take a vow of silence. Nor chastity, as they're are 4 younger ones with the two from last year. And I've never heard them make any reference to "crackers"---Polly doesn't seem to be at all concerned with them in the wild.

If this were a cartoon, there would be birds ice skating on the washtub--that which is destined to be a lily pond.

I've been dozey and hungry---some hibernating instinct kicking in. I have a cake in the oven--heats the house, and fills it with a pleasant aroma. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. How long are you going to make me type that until you get the whole "Shining" reference? All work and no...............................................................................fuck it.

Birthday Party or:the lovely dragon lady breeding many ugly american dreams.

She walked though a crowded room--most not even noticing her. But one person had to go and set off a whole series of mishaps. There was a big carload of crickets left over from the fishing expedition, but, alas, all the methane lakes evaporated,where cracked out cats dance the dance of death along its shores, screaming and screeching their way to the depths of hell. Together they dreamed of clockwork monkey world domination. And yet, nothing got done. So they just ran a gang like a chambermaid--clean but dirty. And they looked up at the glaring sun and knew that things would never be the same again.

No, you haven't stumbled onto a spamblog, and yes, I've had my medication (kidding)--the preceding was an "exquisite corpse" from my party. Not that I had dead people over for tea or anything--it's a surrealist writing game--one person writes two and a half lines, covers all but the last half line, and the next person completes it and adds another two and a half lines, and so on until the page is filled. Some may think that it is too literary/cerebral/square; others will find it too bizarre and unsettling. Others will be amused. It was a group of the third type that I had over last tuesday for fun and frolic, celebrating Amber's birthday (mine,too) Escorting Amber was the ever charming Justin, sporting his usual sly smile and suggestive hairstyle.

The groovetastic Dawn was was in attendance (thanks for the groovy tea towel, kitten!)--as were my young friends Shannon and Kala (pictured above modeling headware and holding the pinata--thanks for the pendant, box, bag, pouch, and quartz crystal you guys!). The brave and charming Rob turned up (thanks for the bass amp!), along with the ever stalwart Snayd (thanks for the Clerks II dvd!), and the elegant and charming Cynthia( thanks for the eye pillow!). Also in attendance was the ravishing Rahshemah and her consort Anthony (thanks, kids!).

As soon as YouTube is back up, I'll have the trailer to Dawn's new movie that is being released soon. She plays a murderous psycho. Fun!

Happy Birthday, Trey!

From all your staff at "I'd Rather Be Here Now."

01:07 minutes.

...and We'll All Have a Surreal Good Time

I'm turning 46 on Tuesday. Blows my mind.

I'm hosting a small, tasteful(?) surrealist themed birthday gathering at my home. I'm going to make a surreal pinata from a paper bag--it will be filled with words and images--hit it just right, and poetry falls out. Or curses, maybe......(be sure to read Mariana's post about the new super villain she invented--http://gatochy.blogspot.com/2007/01/new-kind-of-comic-book-villain.html).

The castle cake pan will come in handy--I just wish I had the time to do a full sized painting out of cake and candy, so we could recreate the Monty Python sketch ("I don't know much about art, but I know what I like....munch munch munch")

I wish for surreal quiz shows. I'd like to see something like Hollywood/Celebrity Squares, but with animals, mythological figures, emotions, weather....you get the drift. Instead of X and O, they would be ? and ; maybe. And it would be more Escher-like, with some of the people sitting upside down or sideways. That's entertainment!

Confessions of a Soap Fiend

I don't have a problem. Really! I can stop using soap any time I want to. I just don't want to!

Ok--so maybe I did buy enough soap in December of 2005 to last all of 2006 and beyond--I still have two bars left, one un-opened.

But be fair! I did buy a few bottles of shower gel, so of course my bar soap supply would last longer. A person will a real problem would have used it all up in the first month. I'm not addicted! Just really really clean.

What does a soap addict in recovery call themselves? Dirty?

"No, man--I've been dirty for months! I haven't touched the stuff in ages".

Really makes you think. About washing. Um---I'm just off the the um, er, other room, to um.....shave. Yes. Shave. Be back in about an hour. Heavy beard, you know.........now, where's that rubber ducky? You know--the one I use to shave with.

I hate it when you look at me like that.

Cyber Thanks to All My Generous Friends

Dear Mariana;
Thank you for the groovy gifts! The lobster is wiggling at me as I type this; the froggie will be opening the new years beverages, and the music box is the coolest thing anyone has ever given me. The tune is haunting--like something from a movie. I can just imagine a full orchestra taking up the melody----thank you!!!!
Dear Rob;
Thank you for the Pythons Autobiography by the Pythons book. It is giving me a different angle on my favorite anglos. You know me too well!
Dear Sandy;
Thank you for the newest fiction by Terry Pratchett! It was you that first got me started on him, all those years ago, when I got sick of fiction. You found one of the only fiction writers I enjoy. I'll try to read it slowly.
Dear Amber;
Thank you for the Hammer Horror box set. I know they are lost on people your age, but these were once considered very scary. The studio had a huge impact on me--much of my early photography and video work was homage/pastiche/rip offs of Hammer films. You've made me very happy!
Dear Dawn;
Thanks for the groovetastic t-shirt! It was thoughtful to design an original for me--"I'll take things only I know for $1000, Alex"--I can't begin to calculate how many times I've heard you say that while we were hanging out. It's comfy, too--I can't decide whetther to keep it special as a lounging shirt or what. Ma thinks it's pretty funny, too.
Dear Bart and Laura;
Thanks for all the cool stuff! I was happy with the monkey candy molds, then came the doll's house toilet and television. And if that wasn't enough fun--Dr. Terrible's House of Horrible!! Too funny, and what a companion to Amber's gift. You two should be spanked.
Dear Justin;
Thank you for whatever it is that still hasn't arrived. I have a pretty good idea, and I'm sure to plotz when it gets here. Don't feel bad--Mariana is still waiting for her gift from me to arrive. There were many mail snafus this season. Stop punishing yourself. Oh--you dress like that on purpose. never mind.
Dear Karen;
Than you for the book on Fang Shui, or feng shui for cats. It will come in handy for the new kitty, whenever it manifests its furry little self.
Dear Kala;
Thank you for the rune stones. They are a gorgeous shade of orange, and the bag you made for them is great!
Dear Shannon;
Thank you for the books! It was great to receive the entire series, specially after you had me read the first one. I'm looking forward to our swap on monday. Are you sure you and Kala have to move to Alaska? I'll be happy to take legacy clients, but I'd rather enjoy you two's company.
Dear Rahshemah;
Thank you for the groovy giant crystal and agate stand. It totally rocks(PUN!!)

I've Been Tagged!

Sebastien(http://chronicallysickbutstillthinking.blogspot.com/ )tagged me with the Christmas meme---list 3 things you'd like for xmas, followed by 3 things you wouldn't want. The second 3 are easy............well, easier, anyway......

Taarzaan's Wish List

1. A new vehicle. I am having "issues" with my truck. I'd like to be free of the anxiety--will it start?--so something reliable that I can shlep in.
2. The Xena box set. I love the freewheeling way they reinterpreted everything, from Homer to the Torah and the Vedas. Screw accuracy, we're telling a story, durn it!
3. ooooh, tough going----either a new vacuume cleaner, or a bass amp. If you find an amp that also cleans the floors, even better--as opposed to an amp the "just sucks".

Things I Wouldn't Enjoy

1. Magazine subscriptions. Seriously. My gran used to give everyone Reader's Digest. I loved my gran, but really.
2. Cologne. Not the place, the substance--again, gran flashback. She always gave this horrid lime scented stuff that made my cat gag. One should select one's own scent.
3. Anything motion activated that sings a holiday tune.

Who shall I tagg? Sadly there is no one--all my blogger friends (with the exception of sensei Delta) have already done this, and none of my monkey minions can type very well. I should have wished for more blogger friends to pass this on to. Oh, well........
I'm in holiday food prep mode today. I just finished baking the "pigs in blankets"--it's hard getting a pig to stay wrapoped up in a blanket, and as for stuffing it in the oven--good luck! Instead, I'm using wee "sausages", and wrapping them in "dough". Next, I'm on to the cookies. After that, it's baked brie with mushrooms and chives. Later, it will be time to make the gingerbread men. Then I'll be busy chasing them. "you can't catch me!"--we'll see about that.......

Happy Winter Solstice

Behold the Butterflies of CEU Compliance

These guys each represent 6 hours of continued education. Ariana, the CEU provider, gives these out along with the certificates. If you get audited, don't try to mail in the butterflies.
I'm ready for another year in my new career. My insurance is paid up, CEUs covered, license renewal check cleared--all's clear for the new year.

"Tis STILLL The Season: Baking Jag/Amber's Fabulous Ruby Slippers

Ok--First the baking jag. This cake pan totally speaks LOUDLY to my inner child--lucky little bastard. It reminds me of a sand castle mold my Ma gave me when I was 6. I've been making cake castles--it's loads of fun, and people enjoy receiving them. Plus, you can play Godzilla while you have dessert.
Next month at my birthday, I'm going to combine 4 of them into a large sprawling castle, and we shall lob grapes at it with spoons--prizes to the invader who gets them most direct hits.

Amber's faboo ruby slippers--a gift from me, via her wishlist. She put them right on, and did a little happy dance. She is so prosh! She's smiling because I also gave her the fabulous tiny globe pendant in a silver cage--again from her wishlist.
She gave me a collection of 6 Hammer Horror films--from my wish list.



Powdered sugar makes edible snow on Castle Chocula.

Get Well Soon, Gatochy!

My most favoritest kitty on the entire European continent is having surgery again. Her humans are two of the most loving, devoted, and generally kick ass pet parents on earth-- we send love and support to the entire Gatochy family--be well soon, miss kitty! Hang in there, Mariana and Prince Charming!

"Tis the Season for O Henry-like Situations

My ma was 2 when the stockmarket crashed in 1929. My grandparents were resourceful and hardworking, and the family made it through the great depression, and held on to values that developed during and because of it.
On some basic level, Ma is expecting another great depression. She is cautious with money, but far from miserly or withholding.
Her gift giving reflects her early life experience, when she and her closest brother would save things they came across during the year as Christmas gifts. This year she had a money clip from the 70's and a freebie calendar for my surviving brother. She wasn't really satisfied with the calendar, and the money clip turned out to be damaged and not giftable. Although she didn't make a big scene about it, it was obvious to me that she was deeply disappointed and upset. I got a real sense of her younger self, and the deep caring that goes in to her every gesture. Although her judgment has often been extremely poor, her intentions have always been the best. So I got pretty choked up about her being choked up about not having a gift for my brother. Still with me?
I dug out a money clip given to me by our late brother. My two brothers were a year apart, and always close, so I felt that it would be far more meaningful to my surviving brother. Ma was very pleased to have a replacement, and I suggested that we design a calendar ourselves to go with it. Ma went through old family photos, and came up with a concept for each month. She sat here at the computer with me and played art director. The above image is her December collage--we decorated the doll'shouse.

WTF #2: Recumbent Bikes

Recumbent bikes---I don' trust 'em--I tink der up to somethin..........but seriously, wtf?
Bicycling is supposed to be a healthy pursuit. So let's design a bike that makes it more hazardous. Let's lower the sight line--no worries, we'll just stick a flag on it--people are sure to see that. And let's have your head right where you can suck up the car exhaust--it's right there in front of your face--breath deep! Also, the head is now conveniently at bumper level--let's have a round of concussions with neck trauma for everyone!
And why do the people I see laying in these bloody things look so smug?

'Tis The Season For Eye Strain

This is the wee tiny stocking I just made for Ma's doll's house--it's so much easier to decorate on the small scale, but sewing two of these 1 inch by a half inch stockings took a toll on my eyes. I'll be 46 next month, and seeing weensy things close up is not as easy as it once was--even threading the needle was a fun game of chance and skill. But I got a much bigger sense of accomplishment--plus, I felt just like the tailor in the Beatrix Potter story that made the tiny clothes for the mice. Harmlessly crazy.

WTF? No. 1--'tis The Season to Wonder WTF

Okaaaaaaaay...........this is really straining the seams of bad taste. Imagine you suddenly awaken in a bathroom (hasn't happened to me in years, thank you), and this is the first thing you see. After your scream of esthetic horror stops echoing off the tiles, you have a moment to gather your shaken wits--think, think, think--what kind of monster's lair have you stumbled into? Probably elderly (good--easy to run away from), definately caucasion.......after that, it's all guess work. Just climb out the bathroom window before they come to investigate the screams--on second thought, they're no doubt used to them by now--just go. If you can't get out the window, play Santa and flush yourself.