Monday, December 15, 2008

Pure Unbiased Scientific Research


We here at IRBHN World Head Quarters spare no effort in our tireless research into the matter of waiters & skeeziness. Today we publish our findings on the influence of owners upon their pets, as it relates to the whole waiter=skeezy equation.







We assembled a crack team of dogs—one belonging to an engineer,

one to a paleontologist, and the third to a waiter.


We provided the dogs with a 20 x 20 room filled with bones, and left them to their own devices. The following is an excerpt from our observation log:


8:00am: Dogs sniff each other, establish dominance/hierarchy


8:15am: Paleontologists dog (Alpha) assembles bones into reproductions of dinosaurs (T-Rex, Stegosaur, and Triceratops)


8:30 am: Engineer’s dog (beta) assembles bones into architectural reproductions (Eiffel Tower, Roman Coliseum, and Sydney Opera House)


9:00 am: Waiter’s dog (omega) chops bones into powder with razor blade, snorts powder, fucks other two dogs, calls in sick


9 comments:

dennis said...

Dennis likes the cut of that waiter's dog's jib.

edward said...

dogs like to do things.

Anonymous said...

I love the dog/waiter objet D'arts you have pictured here. There look highly collectible.

Where you ever a waiter yourself? I can't imagine it.

Kurt said...

Which dog won?

Megan said...

Can't wait for the extrapolation.

Trey said...

I was a carhop in my teens--got screwed over by peers due to popularity. (started the whole vendetta)I was a bartender--gave me a good look into the heart of skeezy darkness.

edward said...

okay.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Uh Oh! Your slipping! Time to start blogging again!

Squirrel said...

oh poop no new post! don't ruin my Christmas by not posting.

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