Happy Birthday to Bart

Bart is my oldest friend--he's 204!(ok, Monty Python reference...) no, really--we've known each other since we were both 9 years old--we met in 1970--that was 3rd grade-- and by the end of the year, we had managed to divide the class into two warring factions, complete with spies and counter spies. I often think that Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes, not the misantropic theologian) was based on him. I'm certain that Pinky and the Brain, Akbar and Jeff, and Ren and Stimpy are based on our friendship. Someday, we'll sue, and then fight over the money.
Today is his 45th birthday. I'm reprinting this amusing e-mail that he put together to cheer me up from a case of food poisoning. It's from some damn book he was reading--he's heavy on the ancients, and Phillip Wylie, and all sorts of mega-brain stuff. He also is a squirrel enthusiast-- they come into his apartment, and one--Shelly--eats from his hand. He is like Snow White, only hairy. Ok, on to the e-mail:

Hope you're feeling a bit better today. Maybe these observations will cheer you up. But before I begin speaking I have a few things I would like to say...
I think, therfore I am?Could be.Unless it's really someone else who only *thinks* he's me!
An apochryphal story:Epimenides the Cretan grew interested in the wisdom of the east,and heard of a wise man called the Buddha. He decided to make the long journey to see for himself if the Buddha was as wise as his reputation, and if so to learn what he could from him. Along the way he considered many questions he could ask trying to determine which would be the best possible inquiry to ask the sainted wise man, and finally made his decision. When he met Buddha he asked, "What is the best question that can be asked, and what is the best answerthat can be given?" The Buddha replied, "The best question that can be asked is the one you have asked. And the best answer that canbe given is the answer I am giving you."
Now a few musical notes:When Mark Twain was asked what he thought of the music of RichardWagner he replied, "Well, it's probably not as bad as it sounds."
Once when the modernist composer Paul Hindemith was rehearsing oneof his more dissonant composition he grew angry, rapped his baton on the podium and said, "No, no, no, gentleman! Even though it sounds wrong it's still not right!"
And now for something completely different:Our Conversation Last Night
Trey: It's true!Bart: It's not!
Trey: Yes it is!Bart: It can't be!
Trey: It's true!Bart: Prove it!
Trey: Well it can't be proved, but it's still true!Bart: How can you say it's true if it can't be proved!
Trey: There are certain thing that are true even thought they can't beproved!Bart: That's not true!
Trey: Yes it is. Godel proved that there are certain things that aretrue but can't be proved!Bart: That's not true!
Trey: It certainly is!Bart: It can't be, and even if it were true, it could never be proved!
Well, now I'm sure you'll agree that this great collection of reflections
provides you with your own quite special way of seeing such things as why
if you don't read this email you'll never be the same again.Hope you feel better now. I've got to close. I've got some sign work to do. I'm making some "Authorized Parking Forbidden"signs!B