Tuesday, November 03, 2009

DOAS pt 3: Rhyme "Furry" with "Ennui"

Dear Diary,
So, this is sentience.

whee.

More than just a little bit disappointing. In fact, you can HAVE it.

I'm a raccoon. I was about as ready for an existential crisis as a manatee is ready for pole dancing . Maybe less.

Ok, so I'm the first raccoon to contemplate it's own mortality. If you were planning on a plaque, keep it. What I need is a drink. Or something.

And to make matters worse---something has been eating my berries. Oh, I apparently have a concept of ownership now, and it is causing me no end of vexation.

My garbage, my berries, my den--my mortality, my nausea and inertia--[angry trilling]
I'm off to steal some booze and an Amy Winehouse CD.

3 comments:

Kurt said...

Hell is other rodents.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Self aware or not...raccoons are quite aware of what belongs to them. Or more acurately what they believe belongs to them.

Sebastien Millon said...

lol at Kurt's comment!

to be a raccoon is not an easy thing. But at least you are cool looking and are good with defense (fangs, claws). Plus, you can jump out of trash cans and scare the bejeezus out of a human. That is always fun :)

Another added bonus, if you are lucky enough to get rabies you get a crazy adrenaline rush and are basically unstoppable, like the hulk (seriously, I've read about this)

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