Tuesday, December 02, 2008

US recession 'began last year'

“No Shit, Sherlock” replies US public

“The US entered a recession in December 2007, according to the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER).

Its business cycle dating committee, which is considered the arbiter of whether the US is in recession, met on Friday to make the decision.”

We assembled a panel of experts to give their perspective on the situation:

Betty Bourgeois (student): Dating Committee? OMG!! That’s what my girlfriends and me call ourselves-----we all have to approve before a guy can date any one of us. That’s just SO HOT—do you think they can introduce us to some rich guys?

Jeremy Boswell (laborer): So, this committee decides whether or not we are in a recession? Well, they made the wrong decision, buddy, ‘cuz I’m gonna kick their recession-making asses! That’ll teach ‘em to screw with the economy like that…….

Taarzaan (future warlord): When civilization collapses, those pencil necks on that damn committee had best steer clear of my cave, because people without useful skills will be EATEN………..that goes double for “DJ”s, understand? You can just start calling yourself ”DJ Filling Snack”, or “DJ Tasty Treat”, you useless little twerps.

Never mind the wolf at the door---there's a damn BEAR at the WINDOW!!!!

5 comments:

Kurt said...

You hate DJs too? When we were coming up, someone made a mix tape for a party. These young kids created a whole job out of that.

Squirrel said...

Jeremy Boswell's real name is Sam Bosweel, and he isn't a laborer--he just carries an actual laborer's shovel and pick on the days when the laborer has a chiropractic appointment.-- and Bosweel owes back taxes and has no useful skills. I don't think he should be allowed to speak out in this forum.

Unknown said...

I love it when old people say, "When we were coming up."

Queen of France said...

Wait...there's a dating committee? Tell me more, tell me more!

Megan said...

I wonder what Tina Reffert would say?

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