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I joined an on line group for massage therapists-- it puts a ton of e-mail in my box on a daily basis. Some are about job opportunities, others about classes offered, and the rest are open forum discussions about various issues we encounter. I am new to the group, and generally "keep my mouth shut and try to learn". But one question begged an answer. A female therapist asked the group about how to deal with a male client who was behaving in a way that made her feel uncomfortable. He would stare at her during the session, touch her, and drop hints. She was trying to give him benefit of the doubt, but her description of his behavior set off my personal alarms. I replied that she should honor her intuition and grasp of the obvious, and that she owed this gent nothing more than direct honest communication, as in "I am uncomfortable working with you any more". This brought on a flurry of responses, mostly from a male practitioner who works in tandem with another. His position was "don't discard this poor individual, educate them with love and light so they can benefit from the experience." Many long posts about not being judgmental, not discarding a paying client because of "squeamishness"-- looked like hippy bullshit to me, and I'm pretty much an old hippy myself. After about a week of this (with the "love and light" guy getting increasingly self righteous and judgmental himself), the woman who posted the original question got back to us with a follow up. She tried the "love and light" routine, to no avail. The guy was full of shit, and did his best to weasel around her boundaries--even asked her for a date! My point is-- we know when someone is pushing our limits/being creepy. Wherever you may encounter this in life-- honor your gut feeling. If you don't feel safe in a situation, get out of it. Err on the side of caution. It is not the therapist's job to rehabilitate sexual predators. Show them the door, and warn your peers.
On a MUCH happier note-- Mariana has a second blog!! It's called "Why Hello ,Kitty", and it is delightful-- she posts HK sighting she finds on the 'net. I must admit, I wasn't much of a HK fan before reading her faboo Gatochy's Blog-- I caught on pretty quick, though. So for your blog reading pleasure, here are links to her twin blogs http://gatochy.blogspot.com/ the original
and http://kittyhellohellokitty.blogspot.com/
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2 comments:
You're so wise. My theory is that whenever people say that sort of thing, like "Let's not alienate our fellow creepy brother, let's educate him instead" they're exactly the opposite of what they intend to appear: instead of kind and understanding they're actually very arrogant and proud. They want to be leaders and influence other people, see? I should know, because that's how I used to be, so I know what my motivations were. It took me the longest time to come to my senses and see things as clearly as you do.
Now I would tell someone in that situation not to sacrifice themselves for the remote chance they might be able to "save" a jerk. Rather, be humble and admit you're not the one who is going to change anyone, and start thinking of yourself for a change. In other words, just the advice you gave.
And thanks for the plug, Taarzaan, you're always so kind. :)
I love the new blog!!
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