Don't Ya Just Hate It When......

you are watching a movie, la la la,and then a character pops up that makes you squirm with embarassed self recognition? For me, it was the SouthPark movie. No, seriously--I'm not kidding! The character "The Mole" is a bitter, foul mouthed, chainsmoking atheist - so much like little Trey was. Here's some bits from the Wikipedia entry on him:

"The Mole is a mercenary for hire who specializes in digging and navigating
tunnels, hence his nickname. He is French and speaks with an accent, although he
is fluent in English. According to him, his mother tried to perform an abortion
on herself while pregnant with him; however, the veracity of this statement is
debatable. All we know of his mother is that she is also French and is to some
degree religious. The Mole, in keeping with his French existentialist
stereotype, frequently says derogatory things about God, which get him grounded.
He is a worldly chain-smoker who seems as though he belongs somewhere in Les
Miserables or possibly the French Resistance of WWII. He wears a dark green
shirt with rolled-up sleeves, dark brown pants, and black gloves with no
fingers. He has a shovel and wears a baldric from his left shoulder to his right
hip that keeps it in place. The Mole also keeps a coil of rope wrapped around
his right shoulder. His hair is dark brown and messy; his eyebrows are rather
bushy, compared to those of the other children. He has crow's feet and dark
circles under his eyes. "

Quotes
"Shh! Who are you?! Who sent you?!"
"Come on,
bitches."
"Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in ze heart
with a clotheshanger while still in ze womb?"
"God? He is the biggest bitch
of them all."
"Why am I grounded? Because God hates me, that's why. He has
made my life miserable, so I call him a cock-sucking asshole, and I get
grounded."
"Meet me in the backyard in five minutes. Viva la Résistance.
We'll show God that we're not gonna fucking take anymore--" ("WHAT IS THAT?!
CHRISTOPHE, GET IN HERE!") "--coming, Mother!"
(Dying) "Where is your
God when you need him? Where is your beautiful, merciful faggot now? Here I come
God, here I come, you fucking rat!"
"You realize that by doing zis, we could
be grounded for two, maybe even three weeks."
"You have to stop thinking
with your dick! You need to be on your toes! Because I am not going to be
grounded again! Not for you! Not for anybody!"

Cute, no?

Yeah, I was a pissed off kid. I told my family when I was 9 that I was not going to attend church any longer, as I didn't believe and it was a dishonest sham for me to pretend otherwise (but in a 9 year old's vocabulary). This started a battle with the local Baptist church, played out in my livingroom every Wednesday night for the next several years. Two adults and a kid my age would turn up like fucking clockwork, trying to convince me to return to their fold. Every week I would begin by politely declining and asking them to please leave. They NEVER did. Eventually I would demand that they leave-- ok, I think my exact words were "fuck off right now, you bastards"-- this drama played out over and over again. The poor bastards. It must have been somewhat humiliating to be given the bum's rush by a child. They probably had some masochistic tendencies, so I guess they were getting some secondary benefits from the experience.