Thursday, January 20, 2005

Things To Do Without Fail



1. Lay in vast supply of stomache soothing agents.
Inauguration. Dyspepsia happens.

2. Review emergency plan in case of Schwarzenegger presidency.
I have him to thank for my new found superstitious savagery. I dismissed an astrologer friend's claim that I would leave the country of my birth forever in my 40's. I owe her an appology for dissin' her astrology--Arnold's made a monkey out of me. Some of my 20-something friends here worship the man, as he was their childhood hero. Okay, but that doesn't justify a constitutional over- haul to further his political ambitions. If your main criteria for a presidential candidate is that they be an actor we've all seen starkers in the films, won't you please consider Ewan MacGregor?

3. Sell my Harley
The mainstreaming of HD is nauseating. I draw the line at the sodding DOLLS.

4. Sell Mattel my plans for the Marylin Manson Barbie.
It's just a matter of time until american culture engulfs/digests/excretes him. If Bob Hope hadn't assumed room temperature, MM would no doubt wind up in a USO tour---wearing campier, less tasteful attire------croaking " we're all stars now--in Bob Hope's show"

5. Thank Bono for saying "fuck" on american primetime television.
The FCC has relaxed language guidelines due to this. The copulative no-no can be said now, as long as it's not in a sexual way. For instance, I could go on the air and say " my pet sheep is gone, and I fucking miss it", but not "I miss fucking it". Not that I would.

6. Bow toward Helsinki and the blogging dojo of sensei Delta. He's whipped up another serving of bloggerific delight (Delta--like Proust,but funny! Like Wodehouse, but Irish! Like Wilde, but straight!)
Since you've been good, you may click on the link http://deltaavidelta.blogspot.com/

7. Bow towards Lisbon and the temple of Gatochy. This woman is on fire! She's been jaw-droppingly productive this week; lots to enjoy, and don't neglect to congratulate her on her recent blacklisting. She's up there with Anais N, Lillian H, and Dorothy P. But you knew that. http://gatochy.blogspot.com/

8. Make up with Stroppy and Snarky--twin muses of the rant.
Since they gave me what for and split yesterday, all I can compose are these blogging lists! For blog's sake!

2 comments:

delta said...

Heh, I'm bowing right back at ya :) "I owe her on apology for dissin' her astrology..." - priceless!

And you own a Harley, and want to sell it because HD are selling out. Respect.

Oh, and thanks for introducing me to gatochy's blog also, an oasis of culture in my techie world :)

M said...

Delta's Irish, eh? I didn't know that.

Gatochy is my cat's name. No, I didn't start out wanting to write a blog as if I was my cat speaking...It's just that whenever I went to messageboards there was always someone else also called Mariana, and NO ONE but me ever calls themselves Gatochy, so I assumed that alias. When I decided to start a blog I naturally called Gatochy's.

But everyone knows I'm called Mariana, nice to meet you. :)

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