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Dear Diary--you foetid heap of banality and despair,
Great. Just great.
My "ultimate plan" actually worked.
The League of Good Doers is forever destroyed.
I'm soooooooo bored.
My latest scheme--like shooting fish in a pet shop, now that LGD is DOA--is the greatest evil scheme in THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!!
oh, screw it--why bother with the evil laughter.....sigh
Anyway-- I read somewhere---Parade Magazine, or maybe something in the doctors office....anyway, it said more people are afraid of public speaking than they are of death.
At once, my plan sprang to mind, fully formed, like a rabid Athena from the brow of a leprous Zeus......why do I bother with the purple prose anymore???
So, anyway......I got the idea to have my minions carry a portable dais, some folding tables, and the rest of the army totes folding chairs. Now, when I want to threaten someone, we show up, set up in a flash, and look at them expectantly, as they stammer and sweat behind the microphone of inarticulate despair.
What you won't believe is--it utterly fails to satisfy. I mean, by the 7th or 8th time, it just didn't sparkle like before.
I must find a new arch nemesis, before I start collecting decorative plates or something.
you'll rue the day you crossed,
Dr. Angst
2 comments:
I had heard that most men lead lives of quiet depsair, but lives of inarticulate despair? (Evil) genius!
Don't worry, specialists say you can never get rid of good or evil completely (yin and yang, etc...) Some other annoying goody two shoes league is bound to pop at any second, and send you back to the jail cell/insane asylum/evil dungeon you came from.
And you can never write too much purple prose!
The microphone of inarticulate despair, indeed!
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