Beware of Strangers Eating Candy

My relationship with television has been long and rich. It taught me to speak English. It taught me that if I call someone's cellular device a "phone" I am risking creating a big emotional scene at best, or being eaten by a whale at worst. And now it has taught me to be on the look out for liars with candy.

The Mars Corporation is marketing a candy bar apparently designed to help people lie. I suspect there may be tips and pointers printed on the wrapper--I don't know, because I'm afraid if I try to buy one and check,the clerk will give me one of those looks--the kind you get when you purchase prophylactics, booze, and fireworks all at once. But the commercials are clear--buy this product if you need to come up with a lie. How exactly it works is a mystery--maybe it is laced with falsehood producing chemicals--something that simultaneously suppresses the conscience and stimulates creativity.

So, be warned. If you are having an encounter with a person and they stall by pulling out one of these "liar's bisquits", just point and yell "LIAR!!!!!!"