Taarzaan: Sick or Faking It?

The original creator of IRBHN, Taarzaan, now claims that an injury is keeping him from posting the latest "art" photos of the always scantily-clad Dawn and writing those other posts he does in between. Well, I don't believe it, and I paid good money for the surveillance photos to prove it.


Here you see Taarzaan checking the tire pressure on one of the carts in his fleet. Does this look like someone who is too ill to post to you?


Next you see Taarzaan benching, like, 300 lbs. Sure, he has a spotter, but that is still a lot of weight for someone who claims to be injured.

You've seen the pics, now you be the judge. Taarzaan: liar or deceiver?

Injury Badness

Typing left-handed now..........I injured my right elbow about 40 mins ago......I was moving a large concrete gorilla left to me by my late brother. My asssistant was a smaller person, and in the process, I got a pretty serious owie. Its been iced, compressed, elevated and now resting, but the full extent remains to be discovered. I can movedmy fingers without trouble---I think it's a wrist/elbow flexor that got strained or possibly torn. I shan't be working this weekend, and the computer will also be off-limits until more healing has happened. Irony!

Secret Message

(I have looked into my inner toucan, and it has looked back into me. We're both a bit embarassed by what we saw)

Here's the promised "Mad Lib"(TM). Don't write on the monitor.

1.(noun)______
2.(proper noun)________
3.(plural noun)________
4.(adjective)_______
5.(adjective)__________
6.(something important)__________
7.(something extremely trivial)______.
8.(verb)___________
9.(proper noun)_________
10.(proper noun)_________.
11.(adjective)____________
12.(adjective)_____________.
13.(long, descriptive string of adjectives etc)__________________________
14.(Verb)__________________________
15.(verb)___________________
16.(adjective)_____________________
17.(intangible noun)________________.
18.(verb)__________________________
19.(verb)___________________________
20.(adjective)________________________
21.Noun)__________________________,
22. (your choice of word/s)_______________________________________.

Now, scroll down, and insert your chosen words.

“I’d Rather Be Here Now” is a__(noun)__ written by __(proper noun)_. It is full of __(plural noun), __(adjective)__stories, and Taarzaan’s __(adjective)__opinions on everything from__(something important)__to__(something extremely trivial)__. He really needs to_(verb)_his focus.
Sometimes, posts are contributed by __(proper noun)__ and __(proper noun)__. People are always __(adjective)__ when this happens. Taarzaan, to say the least, is quite__(adjective)_.
People often wonder if Taarzaan is __(long, descriptive string of adjectives)__. This is almost certain, as he __(Verb)s__ frequently, and has been known to even __(verb)__ upon occasion. This is a ___(adjective)__ habit, that will no doubt lead to __(intangible noun)__. One can hope, anyway.
In closing, if you feel that you must__(verb)__ your time __(verb)ing__ Taarzaan’s __(adjective)__ little __(Noun)__, be warned that it has been known to cause ___(your choice of word/s).


My answers
1. blog
2. Taarzaan.
3.photos
4.silly
5.arch
6.world peace
7.burger adverts
8.adjust
9.Mariana
10. Kurt
11.relieved
12. grateful
13. a cliché, chai drinking, incense burning, old Buddhist hippie.
14.meditates
15.shut up
16.good
17. inner peace
18.pass
19.reading
20. rabid
21. blog
22. impure thoughts, particularly when he ran that picture of Dawn in the corner with her chestal area all exposed.

Cute Report 12

I'm beginning to realize a lot of the dolls out there exist to satisfy a public of grown-up women, not kids. Mr. Burn's secretary is not the only adult to adore Malibu Stacy, that's for sure. I got over dolls pretty quick, so I don't identify with this craze. Also, some of these dolls preferred by women are creepy. However, I thought this doll was adorable -- Aksana. I'd love to have one for my inner child.

This is only one of the Loop Troupe Gang. It is what you see: a small wooden object that you can hang somewhere, just to look cute.


Quote: "These little wooden wonders have 3.5" loops which are perfect for attaching to your ceiling fan pull, tote bag, door handle or sweater--you name it!"

Holding that thought, I am in love with this Flickr group, dedicated to miniature wooden dolls called Kokeshi.

I wish I had some of my own to contribute!


I just found this site today: it's called Amigurumi Kingdom, and it has crocheted toys. A few of these things are simply strange and incomprehensible to me, but I thought this little tweety bird was adorable, like a little egg cozy.

I sing the kitty electric.

Happy Birthday!

Grendle the Wonder Kitty is here to wish a happy birthday (purrrrr) to Mariana!!

Happy day, oh Blog Diva of Exellence!! What does one get the woman who already has Prince Charming, Gatochy the Great, and an uber-blog?

What becomes a legend most?

Purr!

The “modification” project took some interesting turns.
Thanks to anomalies in both sets of DNA, the furry head developed into an entire, independent kitty. There was an exchange of genes during the process, resulting in a kitty with a strange sense of humor and shameless over-consumption of coffee. For myself, it’s pretty much the same, except for a tendency to be distracted by and to bat at moving objects, some excited behavior whenever I see birds, and I also run away and hide when the vacuum is on. The floors are never going to be the same, but yoga is so effortless now. Mad Lib™ to come. (I bet Joanie still really loves Chachi, but she's just grown too much as a person to ever go back to those simpler times. That, and his name started to get annoying, and it's a homophone for a Korean obscenity.....still, sometimes I bet she wishes she'd never met that ceramics instructor.)

Postcard from Next to the Edge, Just to the Left a Bit....

Howdy--
I spent most of the week receiving training and modification for top-secret "search and annoy" mission--I'm not supposed to mention it, but I know you guys won't tell anyone........one of the modifications is pictured above. An injection at the neck/shoulder join has produced a second head, isolating the "cute" aspects of my personality, leaving the un-cute head for serious thought. The more cynical I get in conversation, the cuter the new head has to be in order to compensate. It's really starting to piss me off, as everytime I make a serious point, people go "aaaaaaw", because of the cute antics. My next communication with you will be coded in the form of a "Mad-Lib"or something. Blame the furry head.

I would like to introduce you to me

Taarzaan's research is taking up much of his time and energy, and I have been asked to help take up the slack at IRBHN. I remember from my Charles Durning research how arduous such work can be. For legal reasons, I had to give it up (and turn over my telephoto lens collection), but I too would be in my study now poring over back issues of Variety had the court not directly ordered me to stop.

First, an introduction. I am who they refer to as the talent at the blog Other People Exist. I like to think of IRBHN as the Monty Python's Flying Circus of blogdom, and OPE as the Joanie Loves Chachi.

But on to some actual post content. I was in a famous modern art museum recently, and in between all the paintings of squares and lines was "Cat and Bird," painted at some time in the past by a famous painter, probably in his studio. Taarzaan is a confessed cat enthusiast, and I know he would enjoy traveling from Texas to the city where this museum is located and seeing this painting, though he might want to plan some other events concurrent with the viewing to take full advantage of the trip.



Overheard in the famous modern art museum:
(one tourist lady to another): "DO THEY HAVE THE ONE WITH THE MELTING CLOCKS!?"

Ten most common cat names in the USA:

1. Tiger
2. Smokey
3. Tigger
4. Max
5. Oreo
6. Kitty
7. Shadow
8. Princess
9. Oliver
10. Sam

Blog Vacation

A little "Deep Thought" by Jack Handy to hold the fort while the blog is on hiatus.
We here at IRBHN will be away, doing research and working on a series of posts. We hope to return soon(ish), well rested and eager for the task. I could happen.
In the meantime, eat your veggies, drink plenty of water, and tickle yourself twice daily.

More pretty flowers.

It's a non-stop pollen-a-thon in the back yard these days. There's birds, there's bees--it's like a metaphor, or euphemism, or something. It's definitely a thing.

It's around 100 degrees here (ok--98--supposed to be 99 tomorrow), and my brain is going all gooey and..........what? Did you say something? No? Oh, right! Blogging!

Day Late, and Short One Devil......

This just occured, after I posted the pretty flower on MySpace........ it would have been alot funnier/weirder/more coincidental if it had happened yesterday. Ah, well.......

It's a hot, tired, and grumpy day, so here's some floral therapy.
I'm going to have to start checking ID's at my back garden gate-- there are all these smutty plants waving their reproductive bits around, the botanical strumpets........I was back there earlier, and there was even an actual bee, doing his bizzzzzness.......

Weekly Guest Post At Mariana's

Toddle over to Gatochy's, and be warned of yet another looming threat on the fast food front.
I typed it just for you, with my tired paws and all from the massaging.......not that you have to, mind......it was a slow, painful delivery, must have been hours....all the sweating and screaming......but that's ok, if you are just too busy to click the link on the left.....it's the one on top.......yes, that one........you're such a comfort.

Caspar David Friedrich

Click image for 325x400 version.

This is the back cover of a Taschen book with great reproductions of paintings by artist Caspar David Friedrich. It's only one of a series of softcover books of great artists released in Portugal by the newspaper Público. The first time I think they cost somewhere around 5 or 7 euros -- now I found a pile of them on sale for just 1 euro! I had to get one. :)

This is a portrait of the guy himself, painted by Gerhard von Kugelgen. It's marvelous of course, a real work of art, and he's looking handsome in a stern sort of way. But although he may be looking like a god here, it's more like the god Saturn, who ate his children for breakfast. I mean, how would you like to run into him in a dark alley? Unless you would, in which case please disregard everything I said.

Season of Change

(Dawn reminding me to water the plants and bring in the mail. Subtle girl, our Dawnie)

So much change in the air. The new job for me, new apartment for Dawn in July, and the possibility of a new job for her, too.....Bart has new employment, and another of the group is buying a house.

Dawn and I were talking about " the suffering of cyclical existence" this morning before her flight back to Massachusetts. We agreed it sucks, but the up bits can be fun.
The groovetastic one is on a weeklong sabbatical to her homeland to the north (hence the Valkyrie drag), and has promised to get some photos of the horse barn she rode at as a wee lass. This is cheering news, as it offers me a visual heavy/writing lite post to come.

The new gig is a gas in many ways. For the most part, my clients are thrilled with my work, but I do get the rare person who is a bit more difficult to please. All good experience, by and large. It's much like working out for 4/5 hrs a day, three days a week. My forearms are getting Popeyesque, and the professional manner is becoming second nature. My blogging time has been encroached upon, however---I don't want to use my hands to type most days, as they are recovering from the vigours of the job. I expect to adjust rather soon, however, and get back to it. The direction my thoughts have been going suggests a series of posts on the topic of bullies. How to recognize them, how to deal with them, and tyrants I have known. Not a pleasant topic, but one on my mind of late. Whatever.