Have a Slackeriffic Thanksgiving

THANKSGIVING HAIKUS

"You've never loved me!"
"Why the hell did I come home?"
"Please pass the gravy."

See my family:
They're all such friggin' morons.
Turkey softens pain.

Christmas music plays,
Yet I haven't finished my
Halloween candy.

Of all the things
I'm thankful for, the least must be
Turkey leftovers.


White man invades us,
Steals our land and livelihood!
Enjoy pie, asswipes.

The zen of Popeye
Echoes as I fill my plate:
I am what I yam.

Stomach exploding,
I can't eat another bite.
What? Pie? Bring it on!

Pie sirens singing,
Beckoning from the table,
Taunting me loudly.

So full I could burst.
Keep that mint away, despite
Its wafer thinness.

Pumpkin pies untopped,
Whipped cream dribbles from the can.
Who took nitrous hits?

Sometimes we're thankful
For the things we do *not* have.
Like, you know, Trump's hair.

Carve the turkey... yum!
White meat, dark meat, red meat-- huh?
Crap, I've sliced my thumb.

Forty-four years old,
Still at the kiddie table.
Pass the damn peas, punk.

This posting is as pre-fab as the dinner I'm serving tomorrow. All I have to do is bring it all to serving temperature, so i can't give you the whole "making everything from scratch" excuse--I'm just being a lazy sod!