Monday, May 21, 2007

Apocalypse Averted by German Auto Maker

(an un-related picture of Bela Lugosi dressed as Santa. Deal with it)
Event Horizon, Earth--The end of the world was indefinately postponed, after German automobile manufacturer Volks Wagon released a small number of moderately priced vehicles.

"That is just so unfair", said Great Beast of the Apocalypse and heiress,Paris Hilton. "We've worked really, really hard to plan the end of the world--very exclusive and hot--and now it's totally not happening,plus I have to go to jail or something."

News of the continuation of life on earth and the heiress' jail term were received with mixed enthusiasm. "Whatever", replied local hell goddess Dawn Erin--"though it is kind of a shame about Paris going to jail. I was hoping for a good old fashioned beheading!"

4 comments:

Kurt said...

Where is this aquarium that shoots laser beams and never needs repairing?

M said...

All Paris has to do is make a deal with Volks Wagon for a brand new line of Paris Hilton Beetles, to be released in hot Barbie pink, at moderately high prices of course. Fair and balanced.

Sebastien Millon said...

So Paris Hilton is in charge of the apocalypse. It all makes sense now... Where do Lindsay and Britney figure in all this... one can only imagine the extent of the conspiracy, likely involves the evil-minded duckbill platypuses, frozen pinapples, and McGyver.

mendacious said...

as long as the beheading is fashionable.

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